Nightmare
Paralyzed by fear as he slipped his hand over my mouth is this a dream or is this happening the smell in the air is different tonight is this what fear smells like OH wait my thought turns to my daughter where is she a calm now surrounds me she is with her dad and won't be home till sunrise i always hated giving her up for the night but this night is like no other i am grateful will she return to find me gagged and bound or in a pool of blood the day starts out like every other i am upset the my ex-husband because he changed the day to pick up our daughter i give in to his demand and sulk all day as if this is not enough i am asked to work later than my shift so i play the i will get back to you game i need to call home see what is going on OK an hour later i agree to pick up the shift now i am even more pissed off i have no life the ER is getting busy and three hours pass by as if it were three minutes gee it will be nice to soak in a tub and rub these tired feet these clogs are supposed to massage these feet i paid more for these shoes because of this feature maybe these are the defective ones who keeps pressing the call light are you OK what can i do for you well we are busy and the doctor will be in as soon as he can no sir we are waiting for you lab results and they are trying to get them to us ASAP the lab is responsible for the testing of all of the hospital not just the ER wow what an idiot he reminds me of my ex-husband if only i could kick him out like i did my old man finally the end of the shift and the beginning of the nightmare who can that be just a minute can i help you no he doesn't not live here Oh my lord what just happened i can't breath calm down it is a joke right a joke he speaks it sounds like slow motion it gets louder and clearer if i do what he wants i live if i don't i die but wait what if he is lying what if i am going to die anyway will he leave me covered so that when i am found at least i will be decent and i forgot to clean the house they will all think i lived and died as a pig i forgot to tell my parents that i love them if feels like a life time yet is only has been minutes and i have thoughts of things that i take for granted now he tugs and pulls on my clothes i guess my scrubs are hard to rip so he pulls my top over my head but stops short of taking it off panic panic i hate anything over my face i am telling him that i will not scream i will not no sound no movement for a moment and then i see the light i feel sick and i tell myself i am not me i am someone else i never look into his eyes they must be black for what human being with a mother would do this to anyone i feel pain all over my body but now it is more tolerable than at first i am either numb or i am use to the beating i try to look at the clock it must be a couple of hours now i am getting mad i am going to die i need to fight back but how i tell him that he needs to finish with me one way or another because my ex-husband will be bringing my daughter by and i add a little white lie i tell him that he is a cop he says yeah well i will kill him too i blurt out kill me now because i feel dead anyway just do it just do it i feel like i am in control i am telling him to kill me he can't hold that over me no i am telling him what to do i have the upper hand he tells me not to move fifteen minutes later still no sign of him i am paralyzed i want to listen tomy mind as it tells me to pick up the phone and call for help but my body won't cooperate OK enough make a move i ask hey are you still here are you OK no sound and no sign of the monster i move a little and stop and still no sign of evil i jump out of bed make a mad dash for the living room where the door is still standing open i slam and lock it i fall to the floor and cry this is not home this is hell i call my sister and she calls for help the questions the answers are all the same no i do not know him no i did not invite him in no no no i just want to hold my daughter and i want you to stop making me relive this nightmare...i am back in the ERNightmare
1 Comments
Tags: Rape
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StandingBear commented on Nightmare
10-09-2009
- A very brave work you've created that is so horribly true to so many unsuspecting women. It's good you gained the psychological upper hand or there's a chance the rapist would have killed. So many mentally sick people running free in the world and it always seems to me they get a slap on the wrist when they're caught. You're certainly a kind, gentle spirit. I'm so glad to have met you. Your strength i admire very much.
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10/09/2009
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