An Ode to Dairy

1 Comments

Tags:
  • Angst
  • ,
  • Funny
  • ,
  • Food
  • ,
  • Humor

    An Ode to Dairy

    There is no greater joy
    For me or my fellow man
    Than that stollen abreast
    Of the steers greatest friends.
    Cheddar, feta, blue,
    Havarti, bell, or Swiss;
    Nothing is quite as pure as cheese
    Until she goes amiss.
    A tightness in my tummy.
    Abdomen gone awry.
    I ate the forbiden fruits . . .
    Of a lactose intolerant guy.
    Lactose oh lactose
    Why for art tho diary?
    Digesting you leaves me
    Feeling quite airy.
    Oh how lovely a craft
    A true work of art!
    Milk spoilt just right;
    Until ... I have to fart.
    For my Gouda does not,
    She does not feel good.
    But cheese; oh my cheese
    You are the forbiden food.
    For that foul dairy air -
    Escapest my poor derriere.
    There is no greater joy
    For me or my fellow man
    Than that stollen abreast
    Of the steers' greatest friends.
    .
    Cheddar, feta, blue,
    Havarti, belle, or Swiss;
    Nothing is quite as pure as cheese
    Until she goes amiss.
    .
    A tightness in my tummy.
    Abdomen gone awry.
    I ate the forbiden fruits . . .
    Of a lactose intolerant guy.
    .
    Lactose oh lactose
    Why for art tho diary?
    Digesting you leaves me
    Feeling quite airy.
    .
    Oh how lovely a craft
    A true work of art!
    Milk spoilt just right;
    Until ... I have to fart.
    .
    For my Gouda does not,
    She does not feel good.
    But cheese; oh my cheese
    You are the forbiden food.
    .
    For that foul dairy air -
    Escapest my poor derriere.

    Poem Comments

    (1)

    Please login or register

    You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
    leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

    Login or Register

    Len commented on An Ode to Dairy

    10-30-2020

    This one puts a smile on my heart, it was light, fun, and well written. Thought provoking in the best kind of way

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

    Unknown Source

    jj1562’s Poems (158)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    Soberish 0
    That Watchman's Pasture 0
    Turing Test 0
    Irony 0
    To Russia with Love 0
    Six Word Story XIII 0
    Six Word Story XII 0
    C2H5OH 0
    The Second Year of the Circus 0
    A Call to Choice 0
    COVID Acrostic 0
    New Maundy (song) 2
    Six Word Story XI 0
    For a Child Who Didn't Die 0
    Where Have You All Gone 1
    Found Facadé 0
    Six word story X 0
    An Ode to Dairy 1
    Six Word Story IX 1
    My Brother After the War 2
    Always a Zero 1
    Being True to True Love 1
    Dues Excelsior! 0
    Opening Up 0
    A Sonnet for My Socks 0
    For the Love of Spite 0
    La Plagua (song) 0
    Six Word Story VIII 0
    Deus Ex Machina 0
    Dear Little One 0
    2020 in Hindsight 0
    Dear Momma 0
    Expecting 0
    My Dude 0
    Theodore Bearsley 0
    She Wanted Me To 1
    Six Word Story VII 0
    3am Again 0
    Six Word Story VI 0
    Trigeminal Neuralgia 1
    Those Three Little Words 0
    I Know Why Great Minds Kill Themselves 2
    Six Word Story V 1
    Six Word Story IV 0
    Six Word Story III 0
    Six Word Story II 0
    Child Soldier 1
    Six Word Story I 0
    The Sub 0
    In a World... 0
    Patience in Pleasure 0
    Found Carapace 0
    Held 0
    Found and Faded 0
    Found and Gone 0
    Flashback Acrostic 0
    Anxiety Acrostic 0
    The Chest 1
    No Longer All of Me 1
    A Trip to Africa Without Leaving America 0
    Wings of Blue 2
    Conflict of Intrest 4
    How Poetry has Failed and Been Failed (a two page essay) 4
    Taste the Rainbow 0
    I'm Getting Nothing from Daddy 2
    Compassion and Vanity 1
    The Twelve Day of Finals Week 1
    Here We Go Again 3
    Shade of Sorrows 1
    The Rose 2
    Who's at Fault? 3
    Poets Please Answer This Poll 2
    For the Hometown Heroes 1
    The Sweetest Addictions 2
    The Seven Paths to Hell 1
    The Best Jealosy 1
    Extended Circles and Wolves (part 4) 1
    The Basilisk 2
    Linger 1
    Ode to Ol' Christine 2
    Seriously 1
    Is This What Love Is? 3
    Well Perfect 1
    A Piece of Crap That Fell Out of My Brain 2
    I Learned Something New Today... 1
    Real 4
    Just Listening In 1
    Peace, War, and Common Sense 2
    The Forgotten Man 0
    Things aren't as They Should Be 2
    Three Wheelin' 2
    Sleeping in Space 1
    Democracy's Dead (song) 2
    For Crying OUT! Loud 1
    Countdown to US of DOOM! 1
    The Point of a Poet 5
    DEMOCRACY acrustic 1
    Single Acrostic 1
    Desparation 1
    untitled 3rd try posting 1
    Untitled 0
    Uninvited Space 2
    I Now Know Why! 1
    Trapped 3
    Extended Circles and Wolves (Chapter 3) 2
    Extended Circle and Wolves (Chapter 2) 0
    Exstended Circle and Wolves (Intro, Chapter1) 1
    Tribute to Charlie, Braden and Susan Powell 1
    Living Breathing Artwork 1
    Kansas 1
    Some late December Eve 0
    Look It 3
    Another Year 2
    Michael Moore 4
    Far Away 2
    More 2
    Help! 2
    Generation Gap 1
    Who am I? 1
    The Voice of Nations and Generations 1
    Why? 1
    Shadow Lady 2
    Mr Perfect 4
    Frozen in Time 6
    No Name (a love poem) 11
    Circles and Wolves (a short story) 2
    Not Yet Spoken but Expressed 5
    Halloween 5
    Author's Plague 2
    Boy Stealer Pro 2
    The Tragic Tale of Jordan Craig 6
    You Know It Should Be When . . . 4
    The Voice Inside my Head 7
    the joke only poets get (not in poetic form just a joke) 6
    What If . . . ? 5
    Love Like Lightning 3
    "Maybe?" He Says 3
    What to do? 4
    On the Verge of Spring 2
    Unreturned Love 3
    Love for the Blackened Heart 2
    Politics Smolitics 3
    As I Waited as a Tree 3
    The Earth's a Beautiful Place 2
    The Man behind the Mask 2
    Army Life 6
    mutual thing 6
    If Only You Knew 3
    Waste of Space READERS DESCRETION IS ADVISED 9
    Music 5
    Forest Sympany 4
    Books 2
    The Love Bug 4
    The Earth's a Beautiful Place 5
    Secret Addmirers 2
    Our Country's Heroes 2
    What Does 'I Love You' mean? 3
    Finaly Free 4