"Butterfly"

4 Comments

Tags:
  • Love
  • ,
  • Religion

    Poem Commentary

    Part 1 expresses the feelings of a young Muslim man, struggling to fight his desires and propose marriage a woman appropriately. Notice the focus on not being allowed a second look. Muslims reading this poem will immediately understand and relate to such connotations due to the fact that Islam encourages both Men and Women to 'lower their gaze' and thus to glance at a women a 'second time' is not appropriate. Feelings of love can exist before marriage but it is supposed to be channeled in the correct manner pleasing to God by seeking marriage rather than a relationship outside of marriage. The poem is sensual in that it recognizes that all humans have desires, we are created that way, but the real challenge is to obey Allah and make appropriate steps to enjoy love in marriage.Part 2 is a Muslim woman's response, trying to best mimic the same style of the poet in part 1

    "Butterfly"

    Part 1:


    I may spit a line or two
    To chill a spine or two
    And cause a flutter
    In your stomach
    A butterfly or two

    The yearning in your eyes
    Asks me what I'm trying to do
    To you, due to your weak knees
    When I look and I smile at you

    A smug grin is my response
    My simple reply to you
    It says "a lil sum' sum'
    I ain't gonna lie to you"

    A sigh escapes your lips
    As if your lungs were dying to
    Exhale and do the function
    That they were designed to do

    Your skin becomes ecstatic
    as if it was trying to
    resist the tingly feelings
    and chemistry I’m sending you

    Your heart and mind racing
    The heights that your climbing to
    I'm ego tripping like
    "Man, what a look and a smile can do!"

    But in spite of myself
    I must admit that I'm finding you
    More irresistible every second
    A growing desire for you

    Since the first look
    I been trying to
    remember your face
    ‘cause I can’t have “look number two”

    I know to leave you like this
    Is almost a crime to do
    So I will seek out
    your father and ask for you


    You understand the type of man
    That I'm trying to aspire to
    And respect and realize
    That I'm trying to be kind to you

    The tension dissipates
    With a simple smile from you
    A look of affirmation
    And a hope that our time is soon

    And it is coming
    A time when it'll be I and you
    With nothing
    To interrupt when we're trying to groove

    An imaginary kiss on your forehead
    Is my token reminding you
    That our separation is ending
    And until then I'll pine for you

    -----
    END
    -----
    Tan Bui  - 4.8.2009



    Part 2:

    May I spit a line or two
    To chill your spine right back at you
    And cause a responsive flutter
    A butterfly or two, which your objective was to woo...
     
    Me.
     
    The yearning indeed I have for you
    Only draws my soul nearer to you
    When I notice a smile...
     
    Or two?
     
    To play it cool is what I need to do
    Although deep down my heart aches for you
    My simple reply to you
    I ain't gonna lie to you
     
    It's as though I should belong to you
    My lungs perform as they were created to...
    BREATHE,

    The air surrounding you
     
    Resisting the chemistry sent by you
    Encourages me to pine much more for you
    Until the day I am bound to you
    Wow see what a smile can do
     
    Or two?
     
    I must admit that I am too
    Growing a crazy desire for you
    Must have been that "look number two"
     
    But alas I will wait patiently for the day
    When you will bow your head to pray
    permission granted to take me away,
     
    With you.
     
    The woman of faith required by you...
    Is here to make your dreams come true
    I have recognized the respect from you
    Our reward is just what God Will do
    If I am truly meant for you
     
    Until that day I will wait for you
    Doing what I am supposed to do
    Staying a glance away from you,
     
    Or two?
     
    For now I will sit firm in awe
    Oh how one smile hit my very core
    Our day will come, the time is soon
    When I will pray...
     
    Right next to you. 

    -----
    END
    ------
    Elizabeth Wood  - 5.8.2009

    Poem Comments

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    blackfootlady commented on "Butterfly"

    10-29-2010

    This was very hard to do.it was alot work and thought it was very well written.Nice work_Black

    Ming commented on "Butterfly"

    10-29-2010

    Quite clever, crafty constructs - I enjoyed both part 1 and 2. You should write and post more, I really enjoyed reading you.. Looking forward to more of your stuff. PS.. I too have a poem posted called "butterfly" only mine is called "Orgasmic Butterfly". -Ming

    freemansvoice commented on "Butterfly"

    10-13-2010

    To embrace love the butterfly has to open it's wings. Until the time is right it must rest in it's cocoon of uncertainty.

    MalikPeterson commented on "Butterfly"

    10-10-2010

    I really liked the flow to that one and the imagery was really good. I kept picturing each one having a mental conversation with the other...and the message is surely one I can dig...Kudos to you on your first piece here! :)

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

    ElizabethUK’s Poems (1)

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