Despair

Where now have flown the joy and hope of youth
and the bright mornings, pregnant with anticipation?
All is tedium and sorrow, difficult and complicated
Suckish.

My poets pen lies desiccated,
denied time to think, feel or be
This world is unkind, cruel even
Populated by robots of greed and apathy

Sssh, don't trouble yourself
All storms pass and the strong will weather them out
What care I for strength
expended for naught but bare survival

I want my smile back
the feel of sun and wind and water on my face
I want to live, not merely exist
I am diminished - tarnished

dissatisfied
and
disillusioned

the abyss beckons
shall I heed it's siren call?
Turn away from this sorry place
Do we truly live many lives?

Or is it just this one?
The longer I live, the less I know
of truth, beauty or love
intangible fragile ideals

That must be put away with the toys of childhood
if we are to function as adults
and yet....I will refuse to pretend
that I do not feel their loss

and find all of life
meaningless in their absence
I despair
too much to hold on

Have I believed in a God
who is no more
than wishful thinking
and looked for sense
where there is none?

Faith is for children....
who don't know
that there is no Santa Claus
and that there will be no Christmas.

my children....what shall I teach you that is true?
I have no answers
perhaps that is the only truth I know.