fool's gold

13 Comments

fool's gold

heat haze rolling off distant sand dunes
in an endless, unchanging landscape
wandering without direction
the futility of my search pattern does not go unpercieved
just unrelieved

an ocean of salty sand, this bitter land on which I live
I stake my claim to this dusty barren remnant of evaporated heartbreak
sifting grains through calloused fingertips
but the fragments of me slip through
the sieve is not fine enough to capture my particulate matter
this doomed pursuit plays out in the relentless heat of a dying sun
and oh god, how I thirst

sun-blinded eyes desperately caress my twilight lost horizons
they display their burning intensity of color as the sun goes down again
fiercly blazing pink and orange, and another desert night descends
to enfold my ravaged skin in cold, dark dispassion
soft, like a lover's cloak, my familiar unfeeling shelter

the endless shifting miles glitter in starlight's kiss
the shattered detritus scattered, but shining in irretrievable splendor
I am glitter, spread thin on the surface and in precious veins beneath
but inseparable from what remains of the sea of tears I've cried

I am midnight's glory, a vast plain of broken dreams
sparkling in the darkness, destined to remain unseen
with every step I take I lacerate my feet on shards of me

I face this devastation

alone

pretending I can make some sense of the blast-pattern

outside this painted desert I live as though a ghost
convincing performance of realized potential
with an unseen flawed foundation
the reality of what I am lies revealed by complication

nights spend contemplating, searching for a plan
to pull myself together and try to live again
but the task is too enormous, it's more than I can bear
combing through devastation, never knowing if I'm there

the stars fade gently as the sun arrives to herald another day
beating it's punishing heat against the hope I've kept alive
but this morning in the distance in irridescent lines of heat
the faintest glimmer, the vaguest hint, verdant green upon the breeze
the beckoning oasis promises relief
a shady sanctuary to escape the wicked sun
the fragile scent of cold spring water to quench this yearning thirst
tempting deviation from another fruitless day
spent digging for lost treasure

on the wind an echo of a voice I can't ignore
pulling like a lodestone at the pieces of myself that I can't find
I'm following their migrant stream toward that hallowed fertile earth
caught up in imagining my long lost sense of worth
thinking in terms of miracles and longing to be understood
the oasis soul-mate promises that he's my destined love
he holds the trampled dust of my broken heart
and see's the way it shines

tripping through the desert, clawing through this sand
desperate to reach life-giving love and feel restored again
I stumble up the incline of the final crumbling hill
my disbelieving eyes must lie, my sight has been deceived
only more unending sand, stretched as far as I can see

you were mere illusion, a phantom of my mind
elusive tempting will-o-the-wisp, misleading witches light
sweet words of absolution were just the howling wind
empty of intention, my imaginary friend
you'd think that in this misery I'd have learned to recognize
the power of desire and the magnetic compulsion of mirages

so now I know the bitter truth that ever must be told
not everything that sparkles is worth it's weight in gold
the moral of this story is as stark as it is cruel
though from a distance heartbreak shines
it's just gold fit for a fool

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Dano commented on fool's gold

01-30-2011

you write with a ellagance that few pocess... the structure... word choices and flow of your work is amazing... always tainted with sorrow and woe... but enjoyabke to read... nicely done

tenderpoison

01/30/2011

thank you again, I really appreciate you reading :)

dragonfly1023 commented on fool's gold

07-23-2009

woven like the fine silk of life's intricate web and I was caught up in every line. this is an excellent write that deserves deep examination. love it.

tenderpoison

07/23/2009

I really appreciate your comments. thanks.

UnworthyFather commented on fool's gold

07-19-2009

Tender, this poem is very, very good. You are a master craftswoman of the highest order. Your words are woven throughout with both an esoteric and pellucid message that leaves me in awe of your ability. Great poem. 10 from a true fan.

Crush commented on fool's gold

07-17-2009

my goodness, this was amazing as is everything you write. the moral of your story as you change fonts is simply genius. what can i say...i am speechless, dazed and amazed at the talent you possess. this may sound strange, but, you inspire me and make me want to stop writing because i will never be as wonderful as you....lol. wondeful stuff.

laydbak1 commented on fool's gold

07-14-2009

What we really want... what we think we need... what we desire most to complete us... It all eventually passes through the tiny pores of our heart's emotional sifter... The process is unfailing in the end, and though we might want so much to believe in something, we will inevitably break out of those lapses of reality through rose colored glasses, to see the truth of it all... I love the way you meshed this piece together... A longer than usual word ride for you, but it's a 10...

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

tenderpoison’s Poems (116)

Title Comments
Title Comments
You Are...I am 2
la chanson de la petite mort 4
fallen 2
seasons 0
smoke 2
Thursdays Child 2
the edge 0
whispers 2
nothing left to say... 2
sense of season 2
suspension bridge 1
Legendary 1
Almost 3
compromise 1
the final line 1
weather report 6
lessons in loss 2
Walk Away 1
b*itch boots 5
fumbling, tumbling - falling down 6
metamorphosis mine 13
Secret Language 15
An Ode to StudlyVonFiel
dMarshall111D
ildoPic
7
everyothernig
ht
6
the ties that bind 15
spitting in the wind 9
paradigm 8
talking in tongues 10
cloudy skies 12
really 15
well, I guess I know what it's not.... 13
heart of stars 17
The Longest Road 14
Legacy 6
Despair 7
Delusion 7
Inflammatory 8
survival of the fittest 20
ephemeral 13
the fall of the inconsequenti
al
12
Modern Love 24
apathy the enemy 9
Oceans 7
Consummation 11
"I don't love you" I said 20
narcissus speaks 13
destination 9
expectations 6
worlds collide 6
afternoon delight 7
my addiction 19
spilt milk 8
bay-area tourist beware 6
reciprocal 7
take the lead 11
losing what's precious 20
figment 5
bacchus unveiled 9
genuine 24
fool's gold 13
silence speaks 9
dark temptation 10
glass beach 9
mother love 12
sweet nothing 9
lighthouse 6
unbound 8
One Moment 5
Michael Jackson is Dead 4
parley 4
unmasked 4
stand 5
sage 9
Rising 8
the last word 6
prelude to bliss 2
unstained 4
insatiable 3
not pretty 8
surrender 4
forsaken 5
kudos 5
fine dining 3
Pieces 4
the tree 16
inches 9
priceless 8
25 years 7
only a dream 9
reborn 5
flicker 5
unruffled 4
taking the air 6
cymbol song 4
strike zone 6
nine days in turlock 9
through the pale 8
redemption song 3
Wise Men Know 8
not so ancient history 7
my forefathers? 2
American Memorial 2
bitter harvest 4
unconquered 52
what's in a name? 5
Flattery 5
me and a tube of crazy glue 6
eternal vows 2
Old Friend 5
directions to destiny 4
Illumination II (a rewrite) 7
Illumination 6
submission - things they don't teach girls 22
Echo 20
Bride 16
Undone 21