fool's gold
heat haze rolling off distant sand dunes
in an endless, unchanging landscape
wandering without direction
the futility of my search pattern does not go unpercieved
just unrelieved
an ocean of salty sand, this bitter land on which I live
I stake my claim to this dusty barren remnant of evaporated heartbreak
sifting grains through calloused fingertips
but the fragments of me slip through
the sieve is not fine enough to capture my particulate matter
this doomed pursuit plays out in the relentless heat of a dying sun
and oh god, how I thirst
sun-blinded eyes desperately caress my twilight lost horizons
they display their burning intensity of color as the sun goes down again
fiercly blazing pink and orange, and another desert night descends
to enfold my ravaged skin in cold, dark dispassion
soft, like a lover's cloak, my familiar unfeeling shelter
the endless shifting miles glitter in starlight's kiss
the shattered detritus scattered, but shining in irretrievable splendor
I am glitter, spread thin on the surface and in precious veins beneath
but inseparable from what remains of the sea of tears I've cried
I am midnight's glory, a vast plain of broken dreams
sparkling in the darkness, destined to remain unseen
with every step I take I lacerate my feet on shards of me
I face this devastation
alone
pretending I can make some sense of the blast-pattern
outside this painted desert I live as though a ghost
convincing performance of realized potential
with an unseen flawed foundation
the reality of what I am lies revealed by complication
nights spend contemplating, searching for a plan
to pull myself together and try to live again
but the task is too enormous, it's more than I can bear
combing through devastation, never knowing if I'm there
the stars fade gently as the sun arrives to herald another day
beating it's punishing heat against the hope I've kept alive
but this morning in the distance in irridescent lines of heat
the faintest glimmer, the vaguest hint, verdant green upon the breeze
the beckoning oasis promises relief
a shady sanctuary to escape the wicked sun
the fragile scent of cold spring water to quench this yearning thirst
tempting deviation from another fruitless day
spent digging for lost treasure
on the wind an echo of a voice I can't ignore
pulling like a lodestone at the pieces of myself that I can't find
I'm following their migrant stream toward that hallowed fertile earth
caught up in imagining my long lost sense of worth
thinking in terms of miracles and longing to be understood
the oasis soul-mate promises that he's my destined love
he holds the trampled dust of my broken heart
and see's the way it shines
tripping through the desert, clawing through this sand
desperate to reach life-giving love and feel restored again
I stumble up the incline of the final crumbling hill
my disbelieving eyes must lie, my sight has been deceived
only more unending sand, stretched as far as I can see
you were mere illusion, a phantom of my mind
elusive tempting will-o-the-wisp, misleading witches light
sweet words of absolution were just the howling wind
empty of intention, my imaginary friend
you'd think that in this misery I'd have learned to recognize
the power of desire and the magnetic compulsion of mirages
so now I know the bitter truth that ever must be told
not everything that sparkles is worth it's weight in gold
the moral of this story is as stark as it is cruel
though from a distance heartbreak shines
it's just gold fit for a fool
in an endless, unchanging landscape
wandering without direction
the futility of my search pattern does not go unpercieved
just unrelieved
an ocean of salty sand, this bitter land on which I live
I stake my claim to this dusty barren remnant of evaporated heartbreak
sifting grains through calloused fingertips
but the fragments of me slip through
the sieve is not fine enough to capture my particulate matter
this doomed pursuit plays out in the relentless heat of a dying sun
and oh god, how I thirst
sun-blinded eyes desperately caress my twilight lost horizons
they display their burning intensity of color as the sun goes down again
fiercly blazing pink and orange, and another desert night descends
to enfold my ravaged skin in cold, dark dispassion
soft, like a lover's cloak, my familiar unfeeling shelter
the endless shifting miles glitter in starlight's kiss
the shattered detritus scattered, but shining in irretrievable splendor
I am glitter, spread thin on the surface and in precious veins beneath
but inseparable from what remains of the sea of tears I've cried
I am midnight's glory, a vast plain of broken dreams
sparkling in the darkness, destined to remain unseen
with every step I take I lacerate my feet on shards of me
I face this devastation
alone
pretending I can make some sense of the blast-pattern
outside this painted desert I live as though a ghost
convincing performance of realized potential
with an unseen flawed foundation
the reality of what I am lies revealed by complication
nights spend contemplating, searching for a plan
to pull myself together and try to live again
but the task is too enormous, it's more than I can bear
combing through devastation, never knowing if I'm there
the stars fade gently as the sun arrives to herald another day
beating it's punishing heat against the hope I've kept alive
but this morning in the distance in irridescent lines of heat
the faintest glimmer, the vaguest hint, verdant green upon the breeze
the beckoning oasis promises relief
a shady sanctuary to escape the wicked sun
the fragile scent of cold spring water to quench this yearning thirst
tempting deviation from another fruitless day
spent digging for lost treasure
on the wind an echo of a voice I can't ignore
pulling like a lodestone at the pieces of myself that I can't find
I'm following their migrant stream toward that hallowed fertile earth
caught up in imagining my long lost sense of worth
thinking in terms of miracles and longing to be understood
the oasis soul-mate promises that he's my destined love
he holds the trampled dust of my broken heart
and see's the way it shines
tripping through the desert, clawing through this sand
desperate to reach life-giving love and feel restored again
I stumble up the incline of the final crumbling hill
my disbelieving eyes must lie, my sight has been deceived
only more unending sand, stretched as far as I can see
you were mere illusion, a phantom of my mind
elusive tempting will-o-the-wisp, misleading witches light
sweet words of absolution were just the howling wind
empty of intention, my imaginary friend
you'd think that in this misery I'd have learned to recognize
the power of desire and the magnetic compulsion of mirages
so now I know the bitter truth that ever must be told
not everything that sparkles is worth it's weight in gold
the moral of this story is as stark as it is cruel
though from a distance heartbreak shines
it's just gold fit for a fool
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