forsaken

5 Comments

forsaken

all my life try to live within the boundaries of a moral code
when I'm not sure who defined wrong and right
who wrote on my soul the "thou shalt nots"
in indelible ink with a viciously sharpened quill
tatooed into the essence of my identity
a masochistic sense of self-loathing
that demands I never do what my heart desires to.
to never run away, to never fly
showers aren't for singing, they're the only place I cry
and I hate my life
how is that possible...when there are so many that I love
but they never see me
no one ever knows
nor do they care to
I am a victim, pretending not to be
and they are so easily persuaded to believe me
it's not a lie, I wear myself on my sleeve
I simply never see that it makes me worth anything
because I'm dead inside
and I'm ready to die
I can't find anything to hope for
or believe in
there is no God to comfort me
there are no arms to hold me
there is no safe place to lay my head at night
when my bed is a battle zone
this isn't poetry
it's me....bleeding anguish because it hurts too much to hold it anymore
I'm scared that I'm as worthless
and unloveable
and ugly
as he says I am
what if it's true
and I will never, ever know what it's like
to be real
or really loved
does anyone else understand, anyone
how horrible it is to be too strong
for suicide
is there anyone on this God-forsaken planet
that can simply understand me
or am I just looping futile circles
in the dark landscape of my looming insanity
always alone

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Dano commented on forsaken

01-30-2011

there is an aweful lof to ponder in this piece... having the strength to realize that you are a good person and that you are able to fight adversity is very empowering... but having someone tell you that you are not worthy on a regular basis will break you down over time... faith in self is much more powerful than stregnth in myth... i tried to pick out and quote on particular part within these words and i was at a loss to do so... this is an amazing piece from start to finish... nicely written...

tenderpoison

01/30/2011

thank you, again, for taking the time to read :) I am honored by your comments and glad to have made a new friend :) be well Dano

Artie commented on forsaken

06-20-2009

Have you ever heard the expression- dance like no one is watching? Well you write, like no one is reading.............. I'm falling more & more..... I love that you feel these things. It shows that you are not easily fooled. It shows the resentment you feel for those who fall for your simple tricks. When everyone around you is as transparent as a piece of glass, it fills you with comtempt.

soulwriter commented on forsaken

06-19-2009

"but they never see me, no one ever knows, nor do they care to" - young lady you have an audience who listen to your soul. Never hold it in, and keep creating as you're feeling - it takes time but soon rather than later the emotions take on the form of self strength and the words are but battle scars that do heal, and with the revealing new bonds are made. . . Life can be hard, like can be cruel, life can be what we make it, or it can end up as we take it. Sometimes it is hardest to find the happiness from within, however you know it is there and you are worth finding it for! Your words are written to speak to yourself as well as the listening reader. See things more clearly and then take that and go help others who aren't as strong as you didn't know that you are! Write on!

tenderpoison

01/30/2011

one of the best comments ever, as, looking back now, every word is prophecy :)

Hampton commented on forsaken

06-19-2009

No one that can wield the pen as a feather one moment and as a sword the next could possibly be "worthless and unloveable and ugly". There is deep beauy in your poetry

DeepEclipse commented on forsaken

06-19-2009

Your most powerful piece right here. "The bed is a battlezone" damn that one hit me hard. I have constant restless nights. Sometimes I feel ashamed of what I've become because I am so broken most are scared to come near me. It makes me water down my caliber, just to have relations, or fly into a resentment of life that leaves me dancing with madness. It is like your strength, your depth, your seriousness make you so beyond the "normal" that you are only greeted with isolation or misunderstandings. They simply never come to know you. I wonder if being alone is the true reward for strength and honesty? Or is it we're just stuck in a weak, pathetic-ass society that is afraid of everything. I really love this piece of art. You pour yourself out beyond comparison.

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

Unknown Source

tenderpoison’s Poems (116)

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la chanson de la petite mort 4
fallen 2
seasons 0
smoke 2
Thursdays Child 2
the edge 0
whispers 2
nothing left to say... 2
sense of season 2
suspension bridge 1
Legendary 1
Almost 3
compromise 1
the final line 1
weather report 6
lessons in loss 2
Walk Away 1
b*itch boots 5
fumbling, tumbling - falling down 6
metamorphosis mine 13
Secret Language 15
An Ode to StudlyVonFiel
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everyothernig
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the ties that bind 15
spitting in the wind 9
paradigm 8
talking in tongues 10
cloudy skies 12
really 15
well, I guess I know what it's not.... 13
heart of stars 17
The Longest Road 14
Legacy 6
Despair 7
Delusion 7
Inflammatory 8
survival of the fittest 20
ephemeral 13
the fall of the inconsequenti
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Modern Love 24
apathy the enemy 9
Oceans 7
Consummation 11
"I don't love you" I said 20
narcissus speaks 13
destination 9
expectations 6
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afternoon delight 7
my addiction 19
spilt milk 8
bay-area tourist beware 6
reciprocal 7
take the lead 11
losing what's precious 20
figment 5
bacchus unveiled 9
genuine 24
fool's gold 13
silence speaks 9
dark temptation 10
glass beach 9
mother love 12
sweet nothing 9
lighthouse 6
unbound 8
One Moment 5
Michael Jackson is Dead 4
parley 4
unmasked 4
stand 5
sage 9
Rising 8
the last word 6
prelude to bliss 2
unstained 4
insatiable 3
not pretty 8
surrender 4
forsaken 5
kudos 5
fine dining 3
Pieces 4
the tree 16
inches 9
priceless 8
25 years 7
only a dream 9
reborn 5
flicker 5
unruffled 4
taking the air 6
cymbol song 4
strike zone 6
nine days in turlock 9
through the pale 8
redemption song 3
Wise Men Know 8
not so ancient history 7
my forefathers? 2
American Memorial 2
bitter harvest 4
unconquered 52
what's in a name? 5
Flattery 5
me and a tube of crazy glue 6
eternal vows 2
Old Friend 5
directions to destiny 4
Illumination II (a rewrite) 7
Illumination 6
submission - things they don't teach girls 22
Echo 20
Bride 16
Undone 21