forsaken

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  • Dark Poetry

    forsaken
    all my life try to live within the boundaries of a moral code
    when I'm not sure who defined wrong and right
    who wrote on my soul the "thou shalt nots"
    in indelible ink with a viciously sharpened quill
    tatooed into the essence of my identity
    a masochistic sense of self-loathing
    that demands I never do what my heart desires to.
    to never run away, to never fly
    showers aren't for singing, they're the only place I cry
    and I hate my life
    how is that possible...when there are so many that I love
    but they never see me
    no one ever knows
    nor do they care to
    I am a victim, pretending not to be
    and they are so easily persuaded to believe me
    it's not a lie, I wear myself on my sleeve
    I simply never see that it makes me worth anything
    because I'm dead inside
    and I'm ready to die
    I can't find anything to hope for
    or believe in
    there is no God to comfort me
    there are no arms to hold me
    there is no safe place to lay my head at night
    when my bed is a battle zone
    this isn't poetry
    it's me....bleeding anguish because it hurts too much to hold it anymore
    I'm scared that I'm as worthless
    and unloveable
    and ugly
    as he says I am
    what if it's true
    and I will never, ever know what it's like
    to be real
    or really loved
    does anyone else understand, anyone
    how horrible it is to be too strong
    for suicide
    is there anyone on this God-forsaken planet
    that can simply understand me
    or am I just looping futile circles
    in the dark landscape of my looming insanity
    always alone

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    Dano commented on forsaken

    01-30-2011

    there is an aweful lof to ponder in this piece... having the strength to realize that you are a good person and that you are able to fight adversity is very empowering... but having someone tell you that you are not worthy on a regular basis will break you down over time... faith in self is much more powerful than stregnth in myth... i tried to pick out and quote on particular part within these words and i was at a loss to do so... this is an amazing piece from start to finish... nicely written...
    Reply to Comment

    tenderpoison

    01/30/2011

    thank you, again, for taking the time to read :) I am honored by your comments and glad to have made a new friend :) be well Dano

    Artie commented on forsaken

    06-20-2009

    Have you ever heard the expression- dance like no one is watching? Well you write, like no one is reading.............. I'm falling more & more..... I love that you feel these things. It shows that you are not easily fooled. It shows the resentment you feel for those who fall for your simple tricks. When everyone around you is as transparent as a piece of glass, it fills you with comtempt.
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    soulwriter commented on forsaken

    06-19-2009

    "but they never see me, no one ever knows, nor do they care to" - young lady you have an audience who listen to your soul. Never hold it in, and keep creating as you're feeling - it takes time but soon rather than later the emotions take on the form of self strength and the words are but battle scars that do heal, and with the revealing new bonds are made. . . Life can be hard, like can be cruel, life can be what we make it, or it can end up as we take it. Sometimes it is hardest to find the happiness from within, however you know it is there and you are worth finding it for! Your words are written to speak to yourself as well as the listening reader. See things more clearly and then take that and go help others who aren't as strong as you didn't know that you are! Write on!
    Reply to Comment

    tenderpoison

    01/30/2011

    one of the best comments ever, as, looking back now, every word is prophecy :)

    Hampton commented on forsaken

    06-19-2009

    No one that can wield the pen as a feather one moment and as a sword the next could possibly be "worthless and unloveable and ugly". There is deep beauy in your poetry
    Reply to Comment

    DeepEclipse commented on forsaken

    06-19-2009

    Your most powerful piece right here. "The bed is a battlezone" damn that one hit me hard. I have constant restless nights. Sometimes I feel ashamed of what I've become because I am so broken most are scared to come near me. It makes me water down my caliber, just to have relations, or fly into a resentment of life that leaves me dancing with madness. It is like your strength, your depth, your seriousness make you so beyond the "normal" that you are only greeted with isolation or misunderstandings. They simply never come to know you. I wonder if being alone is the true reward for strength and honesty? Or is it we're just stuck in a weak, pathetic-ass society that is afraid of everything. I really love this piece of art. You pour yourself out beyond comparison.
    Reply to Comment

    To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

    Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

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