Only Everyday...

Do I ever think of him?
Do I miss his loving voice?
Do I ever feel alone?
Hate myself?
Regret my choice?
Nope. Sorry.
I can’t say that I do.
I released him long ago.
Way before he bid me adieu.
Do I ever miss him?
Find myself in a daze?
Do I ever wish that our love
Hadn’t been a phase?
Do I ever miss how he loved me?
Or how he always cared?
Do I ever look in my heart where he was
Only to discover that he’s not there?
No, honey bunch.
As I said before.
That’s an old chapter in my life.
I’ve closed and locked that door.
But do I ever think of how he touched me?
Gently kissed my lips?
Slowly rubbed my thighs?
Always gave me pure bliss?
Do I ever think of his smile?
His whole hearted laugh?
Do I ever try thinking of my future,
But get caught up in our past?
Do I ever cry myself to sleep
And wake to a damp pillow?
Do I ever get the urge to call?
Desire coming over me in billows?
No. I’m sorry.
That never occurs.
The emotions that I’ve buried
Are dead and without words.
But do I ever think of loving him?
Try to find out what went wrong?
Do I ever want to fix things up?
Do I miss what was once so strong?
No. That never happened
On any yesterdays or todays.
Do I ever try to lie to myself?
Only everyday…