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Sea Bass

10-09-2009 at 09:07:55 PM
  • poetography
  • poetography
  • Posts: 608

Sea Bass

Sea Bass



He's not really a waiter

And not the bus boy



He's not the cook

or kitchen assistant



And he doesn't work

The bar or the register



He is just Sea Bass



The seafood restaurant

overlooking the atlantic and

Hampton bay is ruled not by

The owner but the manager

Head waitress and stocky woman

Who talks constantly in a

Controlling way that's nice

And keep order at the same time



The owner Bill in his eighties. Soft spoken would never cross her and he is a rugged ole ex fisherman



A commercial fishing boat chugged by my window seat and I asked her what are they bringing in. And she knew right away



Thay are black netters yea they're called black netter that means they are dragging for sdcallops. They're scallopers yea



I ordered scallops. And oysters because she told me the oyster come from peconic bay and that's right here and near the fampus blue point oysters



His real name is Sebastion but she calls him Sea Bass and if this restaurant were some sort of corporation I would say that sea bass was her personal assistant or luitenant or right arm or .. He's just really loyal.



Sea bass has found his place in the world

10-10-2009 at 06:26:27 AM

Re: Sea Bass

Quote:
Originally Posted by poetography

Sea Bass



He's not really a waiter

And not the bus boy



He's not the cook

or kitchen assistant



And he doesn't work

The bar or the register



He is just Sea Bass



The seafood restaurant

overlooking the atlantic and

Hampton bay is ruled not by

The owner but the manager

Head waitress and stocky woman

Who talks constantly in a

Controlling way that's nice

And keep order at the same time



The owner Bill in his eighties. Soft spoken would never cross her and he is a rugged ole ex fisherman



A commercial fishing boat chugged by my window seat and I asked her what are they bringing in. And she knew right away



Thay are black netters yea they're called black netter that means they are dragging for sdcallops. They're scallopers yea



I ordered scallops. And oysters because she told me the oyster come from peconic bay and that's right here and near the fampus blue point oysters



His real name is Sebastion but she calls him Sea Bass and if this restaurant were some sort of corporation I would say that sea bass was her personal assistant or luitenant or right arm or .. He's just really loyal.



Sea bass has found his place in the world

Hi. Poetography, This is a nice narrrative piece. But what happens after the line:

"and keep order at the same time"???

Is it an explanatory note about the poem, or is it a part of the poem??? If it is a note, then, it is advisable to give it space away from the poem and a caption, If it is a part of the poem, then the lines are much , much too long. They are prose sentences , and not blank verse poetry. I like the concluding line: "Sea Bass has found his place in the world." Very effective concluding line.



"

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)