Original Poetry Forums

Once we were a family

10-13-2009 at 02:04:48 PM

Once we were a family




Where has it gone
How did it fade
like an eternal sunset
never to rise again
or the last ripple
the numbing calm
of now stilled water.
Was it just a dream
One of life's many facades
cruel, vindictive, unrelenting
illusionary forces deceiving
shattering all hope
renewing our worst fears
pointed accusations
shredding the fabric
the foundation
of our emotional selves
with guilt, failure, shame
until all that each of us
possess
are the cold...wet tears
seeping into the pillows
a final stain
where we once shared
this dream called love.
Now, all that we hold
soon fades in memories eye
for once we were a family
now... just an empty picture
on the shelf......

again, where have I gone wrong?

10-13-2009 at 06:30:28 PM
  • niteman
  • niteman
  • Posts: 33

Re: Once we were a family

Larry,,,Man this is very cool,,i love the way you hold this together,,this is a very good poem thank you for shareing,,,Niteman.

10-23-2009 at 03:57:22 AM

Re: Once we were a family

Thanks Niteman for your comment, but I was really looking for some critical analysis as I write kinna off.

11-02-2009 at 05:22:40 PM

Re: Once we were a family

Is anyone going to critique this?????

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)