"That” John

"That” John



Wolves are highly social and live in packs.
Every movement, gesture, and sound has meaning.
If the brother of the alpha male happens to be
larger than his dominant sibling he will crouch down
and shrink his size in the presence of the pack’s leader.

If a submissive wolf cub is born into the pack, the elder
wolves will pick on it night and day to try and toughen it
up, to get it stronger to compete and survive.

One wolf takes on the role of pack babysitter and watches
after the cubs, especially the weaker ones until they are
indoctrinated into the pack and accepted into a role, be it
Alpha, dominant, or Omega, submissive. So there is no such thing
as a “lone wolf” in the world of wolves, really.

We have three daughters. I listen to discussions about young men in
their lives and have begun paying attention to certain key words lately.
If a boy or young man is new in their lives he is always referred to with
the prefix “That,” as in “That” Brad or “That” Andy.”

If a male is undesirable or annoying, he too is branded “That.”
The difference between the “That” newcomer
and the “That” annoying male is that the newcomer
has not been permanently cast out from the pack and still
a contender for her attention and acceptance.

Once a boy stops being referred to was “That,”
I notice a relaxation in the overall treatment he is afforded.
When That Matt became Matt, he was also very comfortable with our
Television’s remote control and a few times I found him asleep on the couch.

We now have a That John. That John usually waits out in his car when he
comes
over and calls the house from our driveway. I wouldn’t expect to find That
John asleep
in our family room or even lounging in a comfortable chair like I used to find
the former That Matt. It might be a while before That John becomes John and
gets familiar with the remote control.

We have our own ways of controlling behavior and sorting out how we all fit in
somehow, somewhere, and someplace. In the meantime, I’ll keep a sharp
ear open for the “That’s” and be watchful for the elusive Lone Wolf.


Wolves are highly social and live in packs.
Every movement, gesture, and sound has meaning.
If the brother of the alpha male happens to be
larger than his dominant sibling he will crouch down
and shrink his size in the presence of the pack’s leader.

If a submissive wolf cub is born into the pack, the elder
wolves will pick on it night and day to try and toughen it
up, to get it stronger to compete and survive.

One wolf takes on the role of pack babysitter and watches
after the cubs, especially the weaker ones until they are
indoctrinated into the pack and accepted into a role, be it
Alpha, dominant, or Omega, submissive. So there is no such thing
as a “lone wolf” in the world of wolves, really.

We have three daughters. I listen to discussions about young men in
their lives and have begun paying attention to certain key words lately.
If a boy or young man is new in their lives he is always referred to with
the prefix “That,” as in “That” Brad or “That” Andy.”

If a male is undesirable or annoying, he too is branded “That.”
The difference between the “That” newcomer
and the “That” annoying male is that the newcomer
has not been permanently cast out from the pack and still
a contender for her attention and acceptance.

Once a boy stops being referred to was “That,”
I notice a relaxation in the overall treatment he is afforded.
When That Matt became Matt, he was also very comfortable with our
Television’s remote control and a few times I found him asleep on the couch.

We now have a That John. That John usually waits out in his car when he
comes
over and calls the house from our driveway. I wouldn’t expect to find That
John asleep
in our family room or even lounging in a comfortable chair like I used to find
the former That Matt. It might be a while before That John becomes John and
gets familiar with the remote control.

We have our own ways of controlling behavior and sorting out how we all fit in
somehow, somewhere, and someplace. In the meantime, I’ll keep a sharp
ear open for the “That’s” and be watchful for the elusive Lone Wolf.