Anyone up for a quatern?

Quatern

A Quatern is a sixteen line French form composed of four quatrains. It is similar to the Kyrielle
and the Retourne. It has a refrain that is in a different place in each quatrain. The first line of
stanza one is the second line of stanza two, third line of stanza three, and fourth line of stanza
four. A quatern has eight syllables per line.


Example


True Love, Redefined

One day she hopes true love to find,
One soul, one mind, two hearts entwined;
Somewhere out there’s the perfect guy,
For Youth has set her standards high.

He must be rich, handsome, refined,
One day she hopes true love to find;
Yet no one seems to measure up
And disappointment fills her cup.

The years go by, her nights grow long,
Her aging voice sings sorrow’s song.
One day she hopes true love to find,
Her definition redefined;

Simply a plain and faithful friend
To see her to life’s journey’s end;
For though her face with age be lined,
One day she hopes true love to find.

Copyright © 2003 Linda Newman

RE: Anyone up for a quatern? Yes ~

Form Quatern


We are the Godlings of Today
________________________




We are the Godlings of today...
we are the heirs, we beg life stay.
Burn not our joy with angry news...
give us our time, with pleasure, choose.



We travelers of Temporae,
we are the Godlings of today.
We own our time, in Learning's Hall...
we masters of our thinking, all



within the spheres of happenstance
where happy and the heart will dance.
We are the Godlings of today
We love to laugh and want to play



'til midnight comes, we must go in
or dinosaurs will wear our skin.
Inside our 'habitat-chi cave'
we are the Godlings of today.

Last edited by Springsize 05-02-2010 at 09:49:12 PM

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Ah, Springsize, you made it look easy! It's an excellent piece with fantastic flow...almost. I was groovin' right along with it until I got to...

the dinosaurs, they are roamin'.

That line really killed it for me. It completely changed the flow. It is the only sentence you did not end with a masculine rhyme (accent on the last syllable of a line), plus it's a no-no to rhyme a couplet with the last syllable of one line with the second to the last syllable of the second line, plus the iambic of the line was lost. It just doesn't work. You are otherwise a natural with the use of iambic and I applaud you for that.

Change that line and you have a real winner!

Last edited by Balladeer 05-02-2010 at 09:38:55 PM

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

The Quatern ...

This was a fun Form to learn
Thank you for teaching this ....

And thank you for the corrections ! ... it is helping me to be more exacting.

~

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Just thought I would pop in to see what this was all about.
A QUATERN (It is similar to the Kyrielle
and the Retourne.) -- I applaud you, Susan.

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Spring

Those were the days of early spring
when she felt free to try her wings.
Her days were filled with happy songs
and love played love games all night long.

Small town hopes, sweet family dreams,
those were the days of early spring.
Newly-weds, anticipated
a life complete, long awaited.

Then he began a new career
and traveled weeks through-out the year.
Those were the days of early spring
and time was such a precious thing.

For love untended cannot grow
and days apart soon took their toll.
No longer free, she had no wings...
those were the days of early spring.

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Aria, please allow me to say...WOWOW!!!!!

This is excellent! Not only are the syllable counts perfect, the poem itself is wonderful with the complete story it tells in such few lines. I love the way you connected things together, like trying her wings (hope) in the beginning and having no wings (despair) at the end. You also included a good moral, that love unattended cannot grow. Loud applause here, m'dear!

I can see I'll need to make the lessons a little tougher. You guys are too good for the simple stuff!

Anyone up for a quatern?

The Drawing

It was unwanted stains and smears
Life’s filaments survived the years
Desires like hooks, light on paper
Our life comes with no eraser

Absorbent then to release tears
It was unwanted stains and smears
Captured in an exciting pose
Forever that thought, she had choose

The lighting was gently diffused
She just thought, what if I refused
It was unwanted stains and smears
Now all of this is shame with fears

Brilliant fulfilled hints`` of the mood
Spontaneous in being nude
The likeness looked good in the mirrors
It was unwanted stains and smears

http://www.originalpoetry.com/the-drawing

Last edited by WordSlinger 05-03-2010 at 08:12:55 PM

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Excellent work, John! You followed the form perfectly and your syllable count was right on the money. Congrats, good sir!

BUT...you have to get rid of "she has choose". That ain't even close to acceptable English!

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Actually in your description there was nothing stated about rhyme schemes at all so I did not use rhyme at all. So I guess its written in a blank syllabic meter form.


Smiling Within Her Cubicle

That’s the woman that lives inside
a room that is tightly closed up.
She walks in rings around her chair
then she sits before the window

to stare into the nothing there.
That’s the woman that lives inside
who finds emptiness everywhere.
She keeps all her doors locked so firm

to obscure the bigger world out-
side. She holds herself safe from harm.
That’s the woman that lives inside
to stay away from the danger

out there. She hasn’t quite discovered
she’s nobody there; she knows it
all. Latched in fierce security
that’s the woman that lives inside.



© RHPeat 10:03 am, 3/19/09
Form: A Quatern: 4 quatrains with a refrain that shifts
Lines(1R,2,3,4; 1,2R,3,4; 1,2,3R,4; 1,2,3,4R
8 syllabic meter/verse.

Last edited by RHPeat 06-20-2010 at 08:24:11 PM

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Blank syllabic meter form it is...and expertly done. Not only are the lines top quality, you project a haunting image of the lady and the reader can feel the melancholy, loneliness, fear and even despair that makes her life what it is.

Excellent work, good sir.

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Whether it meets requirements or not, I had so much fun with this one!

Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (poem 4, Balladeer’s quatern)

There goes my crazy neighbor, Flo.
She wonders when her cash will grow.
You see, she planted twenty dimes,
To sow some cash instead of limes.

All dressed in shades of green Day-Glo,
There goes my crazy neighbor, Flo.
She also favors polka dots,
And ties her hair in sailor’s knots.

Her dog is odd as he can be;
His diet includes herbal tea,
There goes my crazy neighbor, Flo.
I wonder where it is she goes?

I tried to ask her yesterday,
But she kept skating on her way.
She winked and said “My UFO.”
There goes my crazy neighbor, Flo.

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

A poet s blossoming before my eyes! This is great stuff! You handled the exercise perfectly and came out with an intriguing poem, to boot. It's always refreshing to see someone come up with an idea for a poem that's unique...and you have done so here. It flows easily and, even though good humor can be difficult to pull off at times, you have certainly done so here. Very cute, miss!

RE: RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

[quote="RHPeat"]Actually in your description there was nothing stated about rhyme schemes at all so I did not use rhyme at all. So I guess its written in a blank syllabic meter form.


Smiling Within Her Cubical

That’s the woman that lives inside
a room that is tightly closed up.
She walks in rings around her chair
then she sits before the window

to stare into the nothing there.
That’s the woman that lives inside
who finds emptiness everywhere.
She keeps all her doors locked so firm

to obscure the bigger world out-
side. She holds herself safe from harm.
That’s the woman that lives inside
to stay away from the danger

out there. She hasn’t quite discovered
she’s nobody there; she knows it
all. Latched in fierce security
that’s the woman that lives inside.



© RHPeat 10:03 am, 3/19/09
Form: A Quatern: 4 quatrains with a refrain that shifts
Lines(1R,2,3,4; 1,2R,3,4; 1,2,3R,4; 1,2,3,4R
8 syllabic meter/verse.

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It is fascinating how poems written on certain themes and in a particular style, can stir our memory to recall incidents or experiences actually witnessed or were informed through poetry, music or sound technology.
This poem recalls my memory of Miss HavIsham in Charles Dicken;'s novel, "Great Expectations", IT shouldn't be a surprise that some of us can associate this poem with actual people , probably a relative
A very pleasing feature of the quatern is its brevity,and that a lot of des-cription, narrative, information and pathos or irony is artfully and rhythmically compressed into sixteen lines. .A prominent feature is, unity throughout he entire poem is sustained by a chorus or refrain line which occurs m every stanza., but not in the same position in each.

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Last edited by cousinsoren 06-20-2010 at 02:11:40 PM

RE: Anyone up for a quatern?

Right you are, cousin, and you used this form to it's fullest measure. It is an excellent poem, a moving story and paints graphically the life and inner feelings of the subject character in few lines. Very, very nicely done, sir.

Of course, being the teacher, I must find something to correct! (you misspelled cubicle in the title)