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Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

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07-26-2010 at 09:27:13 PM

Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

The HexSonnetta consists of two six-line stanzas and a finishing rhyming
couplet with the following set of rules:

Meter: Iambic Trimeter
Rhyme Scheme: a/bb/aa/b c/dd/cc/d ee

Iambic Trimeter means the usual iambic (alternating unstressed/stressed) meter for every line of the poem,
but instead of the ten syllables that comprise a typical sonnet's iambic pentameter, this particular form uses
six syllables of iambic trimeter per line. Thus, the name HexSonnetta. The first part of the form’s name refers
to the syllable count per line. The second part of the name, Sonnetta, is to show this to be a form similar
to the sonnet, yet with its shorter lines and different rhyme scheme, it is not the typical sonnet. Not only
does this poem have six syllables per line, it also has a set of two six-line stanzas, giving an extra “hex” to
the meaning of HexSonnetta. The rhyme scheme is a bit of a mixture of the two traditional sonnet types,
with the two 6-line stanzas having more the rhyme scheme of an Italian sonnet, but with the ending rhyming
couplet being the featured rhyme scheme of the English sonnet. The first stanza presents the theme of the
poem, with the second stanza serving to change the tone of the poem, to introduce a new aspect of the
theme or to give added details. The final couplet, as in an English sonnet, can be either a summary (if the
theme is simple) or it could be the resolution to a problem presented in the theme. In any event, it should
nicely tie together the whole piece and could even appear as a nice “twist” presented at the end.


The Woebegone

As wind begins to blow,
she’s lying in her bed.
Is he alive or dead?
She doesn’t even know.
And as it starts to snow,
her doubts fill up her head.

She finds no answers why.
To such sad fate she’s bound.
Wind makes a mournful sound.
The woman starts to cry,
and snow from dismal sky
falls heavy on the ground.

Like fields piled high with snow,
She’s buried in her woe.

Copyright © 2009 Andrea Dietrich

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07-29-2010 at 08:06:00 AM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

What's happened to my all-star???? Actually, you followed the intent of the hex really well, with the first stanza being the thoughts and promises from a lover, the second one being the response, setting conditions to the promises of the first, and the couplet attempting to tie the two together in a plausible ending..

I don't really have an easy time with some of the lines and rhymes, though. The "don't tread on me" seems a little archaic and doesn't seem to fit in a conversation between two people. "That I have high evolved" appears forced, since "highly evolved" would be standard (but which would deviate from the syllable count, I know). The "not e'er a thing" seems very forced.

With the rhymes, God-tread-evloved are not close enough, even as near-rhymes, to be true to the form, and neither is think-thing in the couplet.

In your defense, you are on vacation with your family and lying on the beach in the hot Florida sun can do things to one's mind!!!! I'm just pleased you took the time while on vacation to visit us with an attempt at a lesson. Hey, beats reading a trashy novel, right????cool grin

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07-29-2010 at 12:42:59 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

After further review, teacher...I've decided to write a new poem. Reworking is sometimes harder than starting over!

Thanks for the critique, I'll blame the mistakes on my sunburn.

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07-29-2010 at 03:46:21 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

An excellent idea....

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08-06-2010 at 12:18:24 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!


hurting, "WHERE IS HEAVEN ?"
_________________________



I looked around the rock
I couldn't even scream
it wasn't a bad dream
the oil on the flock
a garden, crude, to mock
as paradise, turned mean.

and How does human care ?
the oceans are all dumps
of toxic, moving lumps
that feeds to rain-bad air
that bleeds to everywhere
coagulating clumps

they rescued turtle eggs
and hatched survival legs

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08-06-2010 at 10:06:40 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

Excellent and very timely, describing the oil spill perfectly. You speak straight and true, miss....very nice work!

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08-07-2010 at 08:55:57 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

On Santa Rosa Beach

I saw a dragonfly
land lightly on my chair.
He swooped down through the air
and looked me in the eye,
as if to say, "well, why
and what and when and where?"

Was he my spirit-guide
to teach me a new way
of life in love each day?
I looked at him and sighed.
I knew not how to glide
or even yet, to play,

But laughed to hear him say,
"It's time, come fly away!"

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08-08-2010 at 10:21:56 AM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!


Aria ~

Your poem is just what the mood needed... a bit of wispy to entertain an old day...

How sweet to find your Excellent poem of fantasy...

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08-08-2010 at 10:26:23 AM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!



Balladeer ~

I hope that my main theme was not over-looked...

...and that is the Location of Heaven... seen amidst the failings and crude mistakes... displayed on Earth

...some people gathered hundreds of turtle eggs, hatched them and released them into the wilds of Florida... and the little turtle survivor legs were sooooooo adorable and encouraging to me...

... and it felt as if humans were still trying to hold on to the utopian inheritence, despite the number of selfish relatives.

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08-08-2010 at 10:34:00 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

Ah, yes, I see, springsize. Your last two lines show the contrast to the preceding ones. Yoo bad there aren't more of the good ones, no?

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08-09-2010 at 06:20:23 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

Not a syllable out of place, Aria. The meter is as exact as always. Certainly an interesting topic, using a dragonfly! Innovative, to say the least...nicely done!

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08-09-2010 at 08:44:49 PM

RE: Put A Hexsonneta On Me!

Definitely not as serious a poem as your example, Teacher, but interestingly enough it's a true story, well except the dragonfly didn't really speak....but have you ever noticed what big eyes a dragonfly has? I posted this poem on my page with a picture of him (or her) beside me. Perhaps you do or do not believe in spiritual guides but it was rather interesting when I googled it....which led to the thoughts contained in the poem. Thank you for the exercise and the critique!

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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.
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