Dark Shadows

There appears to be a dark shadow that never goes away,
Why is it at times I feel so sure that it's here to forever stay?
My feet seem to get heavier with every other step I take
Always so frightened that no matter what I did would lead to another mistake.
Its a lonely path I travel with many dangerous curves and turns,
Each road I take gets harder but its one more lesson learned.
I pray each day that darkness will be gone finally at last.
I found forgiveness was the answer and that the dark shadow was my past.

Last edited by cindy2009 08-10-2010 at 04:30:57 PM

RE: Please let me know what you think

Good write. Maybe count syllables and see if you can match close to the same number in each rhyming line. I am being nit picky though. Very good.

-moot

RE: Please let me know what you think

Nice write!
Leave breaks for the pause
So to have a better meter
But very nice by content
But I'm not a good teacher

So if you get my demo
Then I've done my job
Like how to be silly
Streaming wonderful words
in a prose like glob

lol sorry for the silly! Please note this is a real nice write that in my opinion needs it's meter by adding breaks and choicer words in the long sections.