fumbling, tumbling - falling down


fumbling, tumbling - falling down

dawn seeps through venetian cracks
puddles on the floor, unstamped
like sealing wax
I contemplate my fate
caught in the current
of this Bardo state
untethered attempts
to contemplate
lessons inherent
in love and hate
seem I make the same mistake
every time I incarnate

subdued attempt to meditate
miraculous light radiate
flicker my fragility - I am
not made to bear such hate
unwilling to retaliate
ever does self sacrifice
heap bad karma on my plate

desperate seeking truth inside
try to find a reason why
astrology birth analyse
accurate - my depths define
shreds fear filled faith
that informed blind eyes
soul sickness now metastasize

these things I can't assimilate
contradicting reason - typify
logic over-simplifies
broken heart stays mystified
soul longing to be dignified
but nothing ever signifies
I remain...denied

vast reservoir of strength
run dry - no oasis yet in sight
remnants of courageous pride
scraped up from somewhere
deep inside
in insufficient quantity
to meet the day with equanimity
sleep beckons - come and hide

shaking - undefeated yet
ignore the craven lure
the rising sun makes promises
of tomorrows that are pure
yesterday can have no hold
without consent secured
some scars I maybe have to bear
but not all, instinct assures

groping the dark recess of me
to find the strength to stand
and be
not anything particularly
just me - trying to
face today - smiling blithely
for the world to see
I just can't be
fractured so badly
too much depends on me
regardless of restless fault lines

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UnworthyFather commented on fumbling, tumbling - falling down


Very, very powerful, Tender. I seriously doubt, however, that YOUR depths are defined by your astrological birth, Tender. I feel in my bones that you are a very strong woman who has endured a lot of pain, but whose very self identity is borne of that pain. Stanza number six is my favorite. Every word of that stanza is POWERFULL!! Terrific write, Tender. Love it. A well deserved 10 for poem that is the epitome of honest self expression and soul searching... Marcus



thank you M - I've been going through a lot of changes lately, this piece reflects some of the harder things I'm struggling with - thank you for such a great comment :)

HarverTomsson commented on fumbling, tumbling - falling down


In a season of quantum change, one wrestles with long held assumptions. How true it is we find our beacons in the lights within the eyes of those that truly matter. Harv



that would be the kids - I'm trying to get my schiz together and resume functional mommyhood :)

StandingBear commented on fumbling, tumbling - falling down


This excellent write depicts walking through the shadow of death, rising to accept the sun and what the new day brings. We're not created to suffer other's negativity, no matter what other's may think. They're really not thinking at all or they'd realize needed positive energy becomes lost and negative energy moving in is no accident.

Shrin commented on fumbling, tumbling - falling down


Very well written. All relationships rest on sound foundation of trust, mutual respect and fidelity. You have reposed that trust, faith and respect, so don't blame yourself for doing your part. You are a wonderful person and others are not fortunate to have you in their life. A 10 from me.

Rhymer commented on fumbling, tumbling - falling down


This poem seems to me, to be about making the wrong choices in relationships. This line "lessons inherent in love and hate seem I make the same mistake every time I incarnate" tells me you have loved, given birth and the realtionship dissolves. It is not in you to bear the hate, to much now depends on you to be fractured internally tells me you have no time for self pity or deciding who was at fault now you have the child or children who you love to take care of. Excellent piece, of self examination and realization. 10 from me and into my favs.

Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

tenderpoison’s Poems (116)

Title Comments
Title Comments
You Are...I am 2
la chanson de la petite mort 4
fallen 2
seasons 0
smoke 2
Thursdays Child 2
the edge 0
whispers 2
nothing left to say... 2
sense of season 2
suspension bridge 1
Legendary 1
Almost 3
compromise 1
the final line 1
weather report 6
lessons in loss 2
Walk Away 1
b*itch boots 5
fumbling, tumbling - falling down 6
metamorphosis mine 13
Secret Language 15
An Ode to StudlyVonFiel
the ties that bind 15
spitting in the wind 9
paradigm 8
talking in tongues 10
cloudy skies 12
really 15
well, I guess I know what it's not.... 13
heart of stars 17
The Longest Road 14
Legacy 6
Despair 7
Delusion 7
Inflammatory 8
survival of the fittest 20
ephemeral 13
the fall of the inconsequenti
Modern Love 24
apathy the enemy 9
Oceans 7
Consummation 11
"I don't love you" I said 20
narcissus speaks 13
destination 9
expectations 6
worlds collide 6
afternoon delight 7
my addiction 19
spilt milk 8
bay-area tourist beware 6
reciprocal 7
take the lead 11
losing what's precious 20
figment 5
bacchus unveiled 9
genuine 24
fool's gold 13
silence speaks 9
dark temptation 10
glass beach 9
mother love 12
sweet nothing 9
lighthouse 6
unbound 8
One Moment 5
Michael Jackson is Dead 4
parley 4
unmasked 4
stand 5
sage 9
Rising 8
the last word 6
prelude to bliss 2
unstained 4
insatiable 3
not pretty 8
surrender 4
forsaken 5
kudos 5
fine dining 3
Pieces 4
the tree 16
inches 9
priceless 8
25 years 7
only a dream 9
reborn 5
flicker 5
unruffled 4
taking the air 6
cymbol song 4
strike zone 6
nine days in turlock 9
through the pale 8
redemption song 3
Wise Men Know 8
not so ancient history 7
my forefathers? 2
American Memorial 2
bitter harvest 4
unconquered 52
what's in a name? 5
Flattery 5
me and a tube of crazy glue 6
eternal vows 2
Old Friend 5
directions to destiny 4
Illumination II (a rewrite) 7
Illumination 6
submission - things they don't teach girls 22
Echo 20
Bride 16
Undone 21