Give

4 Comments

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  • Love

    Give
    Give me your heart, and I'll give it a beat

    Give me our lips, and I'll give them a treat

    Give me your body, and I'll give it a hold

    Give me your warmth, and I'll never be cold

    Give me your touch, and I'll give you a feel

    Give me your soul, and I won't have to steal

    Give me your smile, and I'll give you a glow

    Give me your stage, and I'll give you a show

    Give me your trust, and I'll give you a chance

    Give me your music,and I'll give you a dance

    Give me your breath, and I'll give you a sigh

    Give me your joy, and I will never cry

    Give me your time, and I'll give you the day

    Give me a chance, and I'll give you the way

    Give me your hand, and I'll never let go

    But give me away, and love will never grow...

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    HappyGob commented on Give

    08-08-2009

    I think it is good, but the last line, that's where the flow sticks... If my daughter had offered it I would say re-work the last line, It is an absolute, and they are always false choices. Look for something simular in the idea of the first 4 words,(of the last line) get rid of never. As for he last four words turn it around, to what was offered is not your loss. As in the refusal the loss to the one that could not see the jewel offered. The jewel is still beautiful and valuable, someone else will see the gift and recognize its merit. But what do I know, I like to write hiku's.
    Reply to Comment

    amber12172 commented on Give

    07-03-2009

    this is one of my faves too..........................
    Reply to Comment

    MizBoonie

    07/12/2009

    Wow, I wanna thank u for enjoying my work so much, u just dont know how much it means to me that you like so much. Im just so very critical of my own work that sometimes i think its no good, and coming from someone else like u who also writes is an incredible feeling for me. Thank you so much, im going to return the favor soon. luv, shericka aka miz boonie.

    PoeticMind commented on Give

    02-25-2009

    I LIKE ..... VERY VERY ADVERSE
    Reply to Comment

    cassius commented on Give

    02-25-2009

    very good well structured
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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