I Often Wonder

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  • Confusion

    I Often Wonder

    As I sit there -----and I listen-----I envision your eyes.
    I crop a smile that's------ longer that a river------deeper than an ocean-----desert wide.
    I often wonder------- what you think about -----the silly things I say?
    Of all the nonsense-----and the drama-----going on in my head.
    How could I appear strong-----but emotionally -------be in two places at one time?
    Holding on to----dreams of blissful wonder------and my heart is going dry.
    I could nourish it------if I wanted to-------by taking another path.
    I could ask you------for your love and comfort------and I know forever it would last.
    As I sit there------and envision------the disappointed look on your face.
    I know in your mind------you keep telling yourself------keep on moving-----keep pace.
    I often wonder-----how could this happen?-------now I see that it really does.
    Why am I so foolish?--------so blinded?------by his rendition of love.
    I am in a maze--------I have a man so clever-------he has all the answers for sure.
    I allowed him------to manipulate me-------keep me grounded------off shore.
    I often wonder-------what is my problem?--------why can't I let that man go?
    Just move on forward--------to a happier place-------where I know I can grow.
    As I sit there-------on the phone again------and I hear it in your voice.
    One day--------you will grow weary---------in hoping I make the right choice.
    It's very hard for me------to admit and say to you-------I never had my heart torn in this way.
    It's because------I'm loving my husband-------wanting my family------trying even harder not to stray.
    I am forever hearing you----forever feeling you------knowing exactly what your love means.
    I have to find the courage------to trust in God----and believe he's fulfilling all my dreams.
    I hope that-----he will bless me-----with his mercy and peace.
    I want that inner Joy when I sing.
    I will always-----hold onto the hope------of having the closeness-----True Love brings.
    If it's not broken-----don't fix it-----that's a motto -------we all know.
    If it's broken-------beyond repair------salvage the good ------and let go.
    God help me daily------as I live with------my inner struggles and doubts.
    Help me be strong------and remain wise------while I find my way out.
    I often wonder------as we say goodbye------at th end of our calls.
    Will you be there-------when I call again-----play another hand----or just fall?
    As I sit there-----feeling so badly------about the way-------I make you feel.
    Just remember-------I'm in pain too-------because I found your love -------it's so real.

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    When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

    John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA

    cherrymccloud’s Poems (56)

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