I Took Her

9 Comments

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  • Passion

    Poem Commentary

    this isnt mysterious....its universal

    I Took Her

    i see myself inside her
    myself in places she meant to hide
    i can feel  her
    blood with my blood
    matching the flow
    our skin inside skin
    frictionless ecstacy
    making me cringe
    imagining what im taking
    not caring
    loving the moment
    when shes not wearing
    anything
    monstrous excavation
    taking what has never been took
    relishing that look
    when she knows
    when she comes
    first awareness
    of a world beyond solitary slums
    hand and tongue
    my cock like a lung
    she can breathe in
    she can see
    she can finally admit to the world
    that she is a SHE
    all grown up with big ideas
    no longer dwelling in fantasies
    caressing my cheek
    her breath coalescing
    our bodies tightly misting
    i have nothing to say
    im done
    i cant play
    i have to stay and feel her
    fill my soul with her feverish glow
    and hope to know more

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    latinangel commented on I Took Her

    07-07-2009

    I think I like this even better. This is very beautifully erotic, I love the imagery and the lfow of it is like liquid. Awesome. Latin Angel

    dahlusion commented on I Took Her

    07-06-2009

    Beautifully erotic in all of its intimate imagery, poetic phrasing, and "feverish glow". Let the moment come when bodies will be one.

    connsk8 commented on I Took Her

    07-04-2009

    I don't usually like to read poems as intimate as this but you did a good job with it and it wasn't as tasteless as most of them i start reading and never finish because they all tend to go for the shock affect rather than the romance, yours I read all the way through even though I felt like I was eavesdropping and I see my sister who doesn't have the hangups about these things that I do also has commented on this and I didn't even know she was on this website yet, so you have attracted both our attentions!

    AmadeusEx

    07/04/2009

    this was out of the box for me, so i thank you for your understanding...i just felt the need to write it, thank you for adding me

    medicinenanie commented on I Took Her

    07-03-2009

    pretty cool for your age.now i see what the 'kids" write and i understand more. But to me it's a typical young, hot blood enjoying the moment of oneness, but you swept me away with your emotion,and thank fully your partner is someone you love and have a high regard for. NICE

    AmadeusEx

    07/04/2009

    dont judge me by this one poem, i have many many others that are nothing like this, you should read some of them

    quise commented on I Took Her

    07-03-2009

    wow is all i have tro say amad got the passionate poem going on i didnt think you had it in you but this right here deserves a 10 deff. bruh like the rest of your poems

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

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