Lost
Losing yourself is never a good aspect in life, when you struggle to find your inner you is harder than just losing it. All my life i have always fought for what I believe in, but that is never case, that is never what happens. So I often think to my self, and cant help but to wonder, how can my life change, how can I lose the old me and began new. I strive for these answers, but that is never what I get, I always seem to find this girl, this young lady, that sits in corners, who is anti social, who doesn't have anything in her life to make her happy, someone who feels that she isn't loved, someone that wishes she knew what to do, and that little girl, yeah shes me. Sometimes when you sit alone and think to yourself, it what can I do different, what can i do to make them proud of me, to know and see that they love me, for me to be safe again, and for me to have a mind of my own. Then they always tell you to be yourself, but how can you do that when you can barely breathe. or even when you do talk you cant even get a full sentence out without losing your breathe or fainting. Sometimes people will say your just stupid or weird to be that way, but have they ever though that maybe life is just hard and complicating, I still strive to find out what I can do, what can make my life better, but i always seem to fall, and someone ends up having to pick me back up, cause i cant do it to myself. Then I think to myself, how did I fall, how could I not catch myself. Why does it always seem as though Im the mess up, or I'm just not worth there time, or I can never be as good as the son, that I can never be the good child, the one that they expect a lot out of. I struggle to talk. I cant even hardly breathe, and the only way that I could ever get anything out, is on paper. Every time, i think and know how it is, I cry and it all begins again. Then when they do figure me out, they will say, Its your loss, That I am the one that lost it. Then It all starts over, corners, tears, pain, cut's, the blood, hospitals, and nothing that really matters, but there always right, its my lost..........Lost
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Tags: Emotional
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