"Love Story v1: Jade and I"


  • Love Story
    • MalikPeterson

    Poem Commentary

    You will know...

    "Love Story v1: Jade and I"

    Love Story v1: Jade and I

    Jade was so caring...
    I was so carefree/daring.
    They say opposites attract...
    so goes the story of our pairing.

    She wanted me to change...
    view the world in a different light...
    and wished I might...
    wake under a new moon on a different night...

    her lips I'd bite...
    if she would give me the chance.
    The world could wait...
    a first date...
    begins a romance.

    Cloud nine...
    no chance...
    straight to 99...
    with her..."come hither hello glance".

    No advance...
    wavelength sharing...
    and she saw right through my carefree/daring.

    She knew she had me...
    at that cliche greeting...
    and I did everything possible...
    to stop my head and heels meeting.


    I gave up...
    I gave in...
    I played tough...
    then caved in...

    figuring if I saw the world...
    through her looking glass...
    in the end I may win...

    but then again...
    She wanted me to change...
    view the world in a different light...
    and wished I might...
    wake under a new moon on a different night...
    We walked the streets...
    as if no one else was ever there...
    turned deaf ears to moans of despair...
    skipped over famine as I stroked her hair...
    shunned needy hands as we focused on air.

    We were the nonchalant...
    content with our cubicle.
    Her views to me became fruitful...
    less and less unusual...

    until my status quo became a brutish glow. 
    We exchanged vows because...
    together we made it...
    she pledged to be of gold standard...
    never tarnished or faded...
    I pledged to love and honor...
    never garner her hatred...
    then I kissed the bride...
    before the justice could say it...

    fused at the altar....

    she became me...
    I became...

    ©2010 Malik Peterson. All Rights Reserved.

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    knight4696 commented on "Love Story v1: Jade and I"


    Malik! Nice write my friend! Man, can I relate! :) Been there .. don't plan on ever visiting that part of my life again! lol! Makes me glad I'm single! :) Ken



    Thank you Ken...but you can still be jaded while being single...no need to marry the emotion ;)

    Maleficent commented on "Love Story v1: Jade and I"


    O! so, you've met my husband...? lol! fantastic write really... couldn't pick a particular part I like best because each section requires the rest of the piece to complete the picture... write on! ;)



    thank you so much. Is he officially jaded? lol. Thanks again for stopping by. I really do appreciate it :)

    jaggededge commented on "Love Story v1: Jade and I"


    you did a great job on this, i like the part you became jaded in the end it was very cute.



    Thanks much. I am glad you picked up on that part and liked it :)

    1990lh commented on "Love Story v1: Jade and I"


    wow. That was a really well written poem, the dept, the flow, the emotions, the tone, the mood i could go on and on excellent piece you got here. Love it! Love the plot of the poem it was like a narrative play i felt like i could hear your voice teeling the story.



    thank you so much for the comment. I am completely glad(odd term lol) that you liked it and got so into it. Thank you(x3) for dropping by and giving me a bit of your time. I appreciate you as always :)

    bandit1192 commented on "Love Story v1: Jade and I"


    As I read this, I felt as though you were chronicling my first marriage. I tried so hard to be everything she thought I should be, until one day I stopped and asked myself ... What about me? That was the beginning of the end. I definately feel this poem.



    thanks tom. I am glad you can relate. Hope it didn't bring up any memories too painful though. I appreciate you stopping by once again. Live long and prosper. Cheers!!!

    In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

    Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

    MalikPeterson’s Poems (52)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    "We: The World Famous Shameless Disappearance
    "The Gaudy Guise Of External Fortitude" 20
    "Memorandum To The Masked Masses" 14
    "The Melancholy Of The Heartless Ones" 19
    "The Misconceived Symphony Of Synergy" 38
    "The Complex Theory Of Beauty" 29
    "Stuck In Traffic" 29
    "Kiss The Demons And Make Them Cry" 37
    "The Making Of A Classic" 16
    "Only The Righteous Know" 46
    "It Was All A Dream"(dream series) 13
    "For The Love Of...?"(5 poem series) 23
    "Media Collateral Ligaments" 40
    "Note To Self" 19
    "Survivor Series" 9
    "Play It By Ear" 12
    "On Pleasure I Land" 25
    "Siamese Nightja-wu" 3
    "Love Story v1: Jade and I" 22
    "Would You Still Love Me?" 32
    "Yesterday's Future Present" 18
    "She's Deeply In Love" 26
    "Voices" 10
    "The Somnambulists
    "The Passer By" 11
    "A Heartfelt Debate" 8
    "A Stark Life" 11
    "The Sex Issue" 6
    "Torn" 31
    "Speaking of Deja Vu..." 4
    "The Paradise Club" 5
    "7 Days of Bloodshed" 13
    "Reality" 6
    "First Class Flyer" 4
    "I Never Wrote A Love Poem..." 14
    "Seasons' Dance" 5
    "An UpWrite Soul" 4
    "Lucid Alpha" 15
    "The Voyager's Art" 5
    "Promiscuous" 9
    "Land of Make Believe" 5
    "Normality" 9
    "Once Upon a Yesterday" 11
    "Victim" 18
    "Just Invisible" 7
    "Esteemed Colleague" 9
    "Fly-By-Night Lights" 6
    "Just Your Average Dreamer"(entr
    y#3 dream series)
    "The Essence of a Dream" 7
    "Dreams" 13
    "War" 9
    "I Want to be a Martian" 19