Mistaken

I have mistaken numbness for strength and self reliance,

She left me wounded and broken , I hurt for a long time and then i woke up one morning to find the pain gone and my mind clear and free of thoughts that were haunting me.

I felt relief beyond measure and actually found myself living again.

A funny thing happened a few weeks ago , looking around me i started to notice like Adam in the garden of eden, Everyone around me had a counterpart .

The pain begain to come back......... my heart hurts still today.

Questions arise im my own mind , "Am I worth anyone's love and affection?
Do I deserve another chance at happiness"?, Is there anyone out there for me?". To those of you that have never been through what i have its easy to say that im being absurd in my thinking , but ponder these thoughts on a daily basis........."why did she leave me?, What did I do to her?. what didn't i do for her? did she ever love me? Was there something I could have done to prevent this?
every minute of free time that i possess my mind is filled with these thoughts .

So i was mistaken I thought that i was strong and brave but alas it was just numbness a numbness that wore off,
 a bandage removed too soon if you will that let in the bacteria of this world.