Naked before me

33 Comments

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  • Lost Love

    Poem Commentary

    Wish u leave comment,,,,thank you..And oh...pls dont be confuse...I use the point of view of a lady here....The story is she walks at the park alone when accidentally she sees her exboyfriend with another girl without formal confirmation of their break-up...they just mutually grasp it..

    Naked before me

     I see you with her
    and I know from your eyes
    your vision whirled
    You hold her hand
    and when our gaze met
    you unclasp it
    No need to hide honey
    I know we expired
    I thought at first
    Time would make us wine
    But it just turned us into
    a fluid in the mouth
    Fermented from sleep
    sour, smelly, unswallowable
    Your ways of loving
    were exposed before me
    When our gaze locked,
    Don't bow your head yet-
    I'm still recollecting it
    How sweet you love
    Rather how sweet you lie?
    The way you thawed my heart
    by the heat of your tongue
    and now I prove
    that tongue's no better than a snake's
    and Oh! how sensational you love
    You always sent me screaming
    through the night
    But don't be ashame honey
    if your skill is naked before me
    Cause I know for certain
    That the lady whom you're with
    Will fall to no better than my fate.

    Poem Comments

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    ApaqRasgirl commented on Naked before me

    08-15-2010

    wonderful, sad passionate piece, your emotions tell it so well in this one.......great write........thanks for sharing.....loves ya asha
    Reply to Comment

    sunshine33710 commented on Naked before me

    07-25-2010

    Very awsome poem, I really love it. It flows really nice. I also love the line How sweet you love Rather how sweet you lie? That is very nice.
    Reply to Comment

    jademelissa74 commented on Naked before me

    03-05-2010

    "How sweet you love, rather how sweet you lie?" mmhhh....I love this line, it is so ardent. The entire piece is so well conveyed and piercing. Great job Stellar! :))
    Reply to Comment

    Niecy commented on Naked before me

    01-20-2010

    LIKE CONFESSION THATS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, EXPOSED NAKED TRUTH EXSTINGUISHES THE.....HOLD! VISUAL PROOF DENIES, DOUBTS, AND SILENCES ALL DISPUTES! ...... Creative ~ male revealing female's point of view!!! Great harmony, flow and rhythm! I love it, Stellar
    Reply to Comment

    danmartyjake1 commented on Naked before me

    12-16-2009

    Get down to it, man! Exposed for all that she really is! Like a razor, sharp and to the point. Simple and splendid. 10 from me!
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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