Near-Love Experience

5 Comments

Poem Commentary

I recently took a poetry class and this was the first assignment.

Near-Love Experience

My head swims with thoughts of your touch;

my joy drowns as I realize I am not the only one.

I struggle against my current of love

desperate to avoid the waterfalls.

I hold my shaky breath and strive numbly ahead

focused on the far away banks of healing.

Saturated in betrayal, I cling to the shore.

Lying on my back, prone to the memory’s attacks.

I must collect my scattered composure

before finding my way out of this wilderness.

Carrying the shards of my heart

I trudge back, tired and alone, to my security

only to find it warped and hollow.

Is it truly better to have loved and lost?

Your malicious lie shouts a resounding, “No!”

Poem Comments

(5)

Please login or register

You must be logged in or register a new account in order to
leave comments/feedback and rate this poem.

Login or Register

gogant commented on Near-Love Experience

09-13-2010

Oh, the broken hearts that lay along the ever-extending shore of sorrow........I think it is better to have loved, and lost....sometimes. This poem shows your creative genius, Simone......................g

cheronld commented on Near-Love Experience

09-08-2010

Hmmm...a question that many have pondered....but here is a thought....if you have never felt love how do its worth craving for....and if you have loved and lost....was it worth the pain to find out....lol....yes I know I am a cynic but also quite adorable in my own way....I loved the visuals and the metaphors used painted a picture very relatable to all...great one my friend....Cher

simoneaugustus

09/10/2010

Thanks, Cher! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

ginga commented on Near-Love Experience

09-02-2010

simone, I appreciate the angst and passion that this poem emotes. It reminds me of my "Bee Sting" poem and "Dirty Little Secret." ty for the chance to hear it in another's voice. ginga

simoneaugustus

09/05/2010

I can't wait to check those out! Thanks for the comment!

kmooney commented on Near-Love Experience

08-26-2010

Wow, very nice. A lot of imagery and emotion. Very well written. I bet you trembled a bit while writing this..lol. Unfortunately I am terrible with these types of poems. I have trouble sometimes capturing the emotion. You certainly don't seem to have that problem. Great job. Thanks again. By the way, what class were you taking? Was this a college class? Kevin

simoneaugustus

08/28/2010

Yes, it was an online college poetry class. The assignment was to start with 'My head swims with...' and keep it around 15 lines. I'm so glad that you enjoyed it! It was my first assignment there and the teacher had very different expectations than what I'd expected. I definitely learned a lot about what I do and don't like and how to articulate it better, lol!

ApaqRasgirl commented on Near-Love Experience

08-26-2010

that was great dear, a very powerful emotion filled piece of betrayed love........wonderful write dear you told it so well and the flow was very nice.......thanks for sharing.........love asha

simoneaugustus

08/26/2010

Thank you so much for the kind comments!

Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

simoneaugustus’s Poems (69)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Ruinous POV 5
Recipe For Making a Wish 6
Who's Calling, Please? 3
Neck Tied 5
A Good Man, Regardless 3
Courage Can Take Many Forms 7
Forgetting You 9
Beste Freundin (Best Friend) 4
Planted 11
Scared Silly 13
Brown’s Junction 4
’84 Super Glide, Candy Apple Red 4
Near-Love Experience 5
Imagination SOS 9
Toppled Throne of Peace 11
My New Path 5
Dreams For Sale (compilation of series) 9
Winter Bides Her Time 47
Outpatient (Triolet, Balladeer's class) 5
Appointment 7
Won’t You Be My Neighbor? (poem 4, Balladeer’s quatern) 6
Just a Dream 8
Neglect 8
Dancing Gypsy 7
Inspiration (Haiku) 4
Seasonal Shift 5
Listen Closely 10
Burning Desire 8
Misbehaving 14
1,000 Words 10
Jack and Jill 6
Triumph 2
Childhood to Adulthood 3
New Kind of Love 4
Future 4
Unhealthy Love 3
‘Tis Better to Give Than to Receive 2
Daughter Dear 7
Never Again 3
Uncharacteris
tic Cruelty
2
Whispered Promise 2
After All 7
Nature's Office 6
My Very Own Disease 10
Collection of Haiku 3
The Rise of Hope 4
Glimpse of Frustration 1
Decisions, Decisions 2
Local Dive 2
Dare to Control Me 2
Surrender 2
My Strength 2
Rediscovered Love at a Diner 2
My Addiction 3
Emotional State 1
Divulging Secrets 1
Unwed Mother 2
Marvelous Sensations 2
Woman Child 1
Grace LeeAnn 1
Left Field 2
Fountain of Experience 1
The Illusion of Control 2
Love/Hate Relationship 3
Who's Afraid of the Big, Bad 'D'? 1
Lie is Central to BeLIEve 1
The Unchanged Core 3
Hammering Kindness 2
Loneliness 4