Never Smile Again

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  • Emotional

    Never Smile Again

     we take our time getting to know just who we are
    we recite emotion like penny words- that mean nothing
    fuck that i can wear a mask for you
    ill always be a drug addict- even if i dont use anymore
    because if these chaines werent holding me- id be in newark, plainfield, spanish harlem or on a dead end street with an angel
    why wont you just let me dissapear for you
    you can see that pain inside me- i know it- i try so hard to pretend that i am happy n that im ok
    but i get a step further away everyday- my mom- my dad-
    they showed me how easy it is to die everyday
    - its not hard to fall-life has has taught me to cry
    ive been the remorse of to many early heartbreaking goodbyes
    " what do u do when u feel like its over?
    i want to get high on heroin and jack
    alone in a hotel room
    maybe ill shoot some of it up
    the needle n the damage done
    spend enough- to kill me-
    i dont smile anymore- until the heroin kicks in
    " i dont know if anyone understands how it feels to hate yourself so much
    this is not depression- i want to know what i did that made me feel so wrong
    i dont think i can ever smile again- i guess happiness got away with murder!
     

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    jferclark commented on Never Smile Again

    08-05-2009

    From one junkie to another I feel your pain sister. Keep writing, get that shit out there. You are beautiful... you are worthy... you are not alone!
    Reply to Comment

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

    litldeer’s Poems (31)

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    EVERY NIGHT 11 08/01/2009
    THE MOON DISSOLVED 6 08/01/2009
    SUBMISSION 5 10/20/2009
    EMOTIONAL VAMPIRE 3 08/01/2009
    I was told 1 08/01/2009
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    Do You Hear Me? 8 07/31/2009
    JUNKIE 5 07/31/2009
    Love The Title 2 07/31/2009
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