The sky rains down in blood red fire,

I smoke some dope to take my conscience higher,

I look in the mirror and see a pathological liar

Before I piss my pants soaking wet;

The government has me by the balls,

I run but can’t get past my walls,

I flee screaming down the halls

And still sanity I cannot get;

A woman once wanted me to take off my

Clothes to know if there was anything to see,

I said I was unsure so she reached down

Between my legs and reassured me;

There’s nothing new under the sun,

Sitting in front of the t.v. sounds like fun,

In a dream I slowly run

While being chased by my mother;

The sun slowly burns the Earth,

I have a million dollars that have no worth,

I reach back and tighten my girth

Then I laugh at myself like no other;

The god forsaken truth

Is as real as it may seem

Because so many people are buying

Their way into the American dream;

The president thinks slower than a turtle,

Around his neck we see his wifes girdle,

The drool in my mouth starts to curdle,

I spread my arms to be crucified;

My little sister says she just got laid,

The memory in front of me starts to fade,

The fleas conquer my can of raid

And my grandpa left no money after he died;

I once met a woman and brought her home

And we screwed until I had to faint,

I want to meet a Mormon and ask him,

“What makes a latter day saint a saint?”

My little cat starts to cough and wheeze,

I have penicillin on my cheese,

I have arthritis in my knees

And I don’t give a damn about the world;

Going downhill at a fast pace,

I know I can win a one man race,

I hope I can afford my own place

And bring home many a girl;

I would say I hate the devil

But I know him too well,

Satan kicked me out because

He thought I’d take over Hell;

My father works his hands to the bone,

Government lies are written in stone,

The sun is melting my ice cream cone

As the wind blows in clouds of thunder;

The rain washes out a spider,

I have a girl in my room and try to hide her,

I drink fermented apple cider

As the girl positions her legs asunder;

A woman left me to sleep around,

She was unsatisfied without anything new

But that didn’t bother me any because

I had all her friends too;

I go to get drunk at the bar,

I get beat up and see some stars,

In my coma I walk on Mars,

I was always kind of spacey anyways;

I go to work to kill my boss,

He dies and it’s really no loss,

Out of my ass I have growing some moss,

I sit and watch a rerun of Happy Days;

On a bed of black roses

She falls asleep tonight,

The man she really loves

Is somewhere out of sight;

Kill endangered species to get their fur,

The melting pot begins to boil and stir,

I’ll cut a yuppies throat and happily purr,

Their greed is the root of all my anger;

How do you win friends and kill your neighbors?

Hire the Arabian Knights with their bloody sabers

But don’t pay them cheaply for their labors

Or they’ll abort your life with a hanger;

An experienced woman took me to her

Crib but I couldn’t keep up the pace,

Some people say I worship the devil,

I say I have good taste;

What do you think of my insane mind?

I look for my brain but cannot find,

It’s probably somewhere in my behind

Where I hear the tolling of the worlds bell;

I hate conforming wisdom so dumb,

I walk away with my ass holding my thumb,

You might think that I’m a bum

But whatever happens, I’ll see you in hell;

I passed a man on the road who

Was scratching his pits for fleas,

I asked him if he was married and he said,

“Yes, I have a terminal disease.”