Nothing But our Nights

27 Comments

Poem Commentary

nonsense, pure and simple...lol...

Nothing But our Nights

a chorus of summer angels
chant bubblegum pop
wave-wet skin and
floral print tops
volleyball bums and
beach clad hippies
admire the view
of their sun-filled declivities
fresh-eyed wonders
neither haggard nor
lackluster
a pirate daubed coastline
of beauty and thunder
chilihead heroes
saunter like burritos
down dusky alleyways
dressed as gauchos
cherry blossom babies
scream sexual innuendos
a fertile crescent
where anything is possible
couches made for burnin
money made for losin
in the backyard
of the train station
diamond joe is cruisin
children lead the party
while the aged weep
fermented bones and ivory
rubble no one sweeps
castles built on water
abused by the tides of sand
dreaming of a shelter
to someday build on land
summer to winter across this world
people like you are watching it burn
sitting and standing
screaming and fighting
hating the colors that make this place so frightening
brimming with vitriolic splashes of fears
canvassing walls with slurs and bright tumors
cut away the disco balls
turn off all the lights
from summer to winter we have nothing but our
nights.

Poem Comments

(27)

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Stardrift commented on Nothing But our Nights

08-16-2009

You painted a city that's sort of an anti-paradise. When everyone is awake and lively during the summer - it's only to resume their ruinous ways, pollution, filth, crime, etc. And all of that negative activity is of course exhausting - so they then hibernate through the winter. And of course the larger metaphor being that it's even worse, around the clock, in reality. Also, it reminds of witnessing a small clean town that, through hasty development, turns into a disaster. Humorous, yet quite bleak. Amad, you have a disarmingly extensive vocabulary, with the poetic imageries to match. I've one small crit here: It's almost an overload - you'd agree, right? Or was the sensory flooding actually one of your intentions with this piece? This poem is a distortionless reflection of a declining civilization, solid poetry right here!!

AmadeusEx

08/17/2009

i do agree, and it was on purpose, i wanted the sensory overload, i wanted every line packed with meaning, and i think i achieved it after reading your very careful critique, by the way, thank you, so often i cant get that, and honestly, im not the best at critiqueing poetry, ive never studied poetry and only recently have i branched out and read other poets, so coming from someone like you who speaks the language of poetry im very pleased that it was well received by you

Stardrift

08/17/2009

You're very welcome! And, like I've said, whenever you want to talk more about poetry - we got pm's and the forum! And you're right, good critiquing is itself an art. I always feel like an a** when I constructively critique, and so I rarely do it - unless asked. That said, although we all have our different styles, there are some commonalities that are good to know. And hey, you did good enough on critiquing my poetry. Btw, I might have a new one up within some hours! Oh, goodie, goodie!! God bless, my good brother!

latinangel commented on Nothing But our Nights

07-07-2009

I agree this does sound like a song. I can never be this good at rhyming. The first line drew me in. Great job. Latin Angel

XxPoeticxSoulxX commented on Nothing But our Nights

07-06-2009

i like it:)its true that at the end of the day, you have nothing but your memories.

NightAngel9667 commented on Nothing But our Nights

07-06-2009

It speaks to me like you are displaying a person's life as they travel from one state of being to another,and the many things that you can do and see to live life to its fullest.

quise commented on Nothing But our Nights

07-03-2009

i reallly really like this one i love how your poems challenge my intellect and i have to look up some big words on dictionary.com lol but i love how it makes me think

Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

Unknown Source

AmadeusEx’s Poems (89)

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Lust 15
Wanderlust 6
Carving Pumpkins 4
Brothers 3
Second Chances 8
The Infinite Appeal 4
A Song for the Departed 3
I Die the Next Day 4
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Ephemeral Dream Girl 2
Idle While.... 6
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King Forever 2
To Deceitful Eyes 1
Star Burning Bright 5
Swirling in the Tidewater 4
An Inch Away from Daylight 3
Shovelful of Earth 6
American Highway 1
Bitches Be Loco 4
Eddies of Fate 3
Magnified 5
Legacy Part One 4
Moving Inexorably Further Behind 12
Salvation of the Roses 39
The Emptiness of Breathing 11
Fall Into the Stream and Hold Your Breath 6
The Bloom Of Death 18
Slancha Ireland... 3
My Death Inside Me 0
Dark Passenger 4
No Salvation for the Saved 0
In the End we Pray... 1
I Walk With You 3
Regret of the Rarely Seen 9
This Daughter of Ours 4
This Day is Gone 8
Ladykiller 14
Insider 5
Bone 3
Ode to Holy Mountain 6
A Rembrandt in my Pocket 7
Tree 8
My Demented Decline 7
The Never Said 16
23 Seconds 14
The Blood of Ours 10
My Death Will Rise 7
Immortality of Youth 2
Shelter Seeker 12
I Took Her 9
The Bones of the Clown 8
Nothing But our Nights 27
Atlas and Pandora (the Strength and the Plague) 16
Sign 4
Rainbow Warrior 7
Grandma' 1
FOG IN THE GARDEN 0
Faith of An Unbeliever 12
ELEVATOR 5
Dual We You or Me... 1
As A Child 8
Heroes and Cowards 5
Shaitan 2
A Legacy 0
Beauty Awaits 2
Only So Far 4
A Composition of Sin 5
Bitter Salt in a Laboring Heart 0
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Death of Promise 5
I'll Never Wake Up Free 2
Bleak 1
Paper Walls 4
At The Edge of Ruin 4
Kingdom in our Hearts 2
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Eyes Struck Blind 3
You and I 3
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One Escape 0
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Glass in Hand 2
Digital Legs 4
Immolated 4