"MY JOURNEY WITH GOD"

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    "MY JOURNEY WITH GOD"

    GOODMORNING "LORD",,,,IT'S YOUR CHILD OF NEED,
    ANOTHER DAY'S STARTED, AND I STILL CAN'T SUCCEED.
    "OH LORD", TIMES ARE HARD,,,,BUT I'M DOING MY BEST,
    THERE'S SO MUCH "DESTRUCTION"!,,AND I'M LEFT IN "DISTRESSED!

    "OH LORD", YOU HAVE "BLESSED" ME,,,,MUCH MORE THAN MY SHARE,
    BUT I SEEM TO BE FAILING........LIFE'S BEING UNFAIR!
    COULD "SATAN" BE TESTING TO SEE ME FALL WEAK?!
    WHEN FEELING "DOWNHEARTED",,IT'S "YOU" THAT I SEEK!

    WHEN STARTING A CHORE, MY INTEREST IS STRIPPED,
    AND THE ENERGY LEVEL, I HAD HAS BEEN RIPPED.
    THERE'S SO MUCH TO DO,I'M FEELING "DEPRESSED",SEEMS THE MORE I ATTEMPT,THERE'S MORE THAN I GUESSED!

    ALWAYS DOING FOR OTHERS, IN THEIR TIMES OF NEED,
    BUT WHEN "NO MORE" TO GIVE.......LEFT BEHIND FROM THEIR "GREED"!
    I'M LEFT IN A "BIND",,,,,NO IDEA WHERE TO START,
    IT TROUBLES ME "LORD",,,,I GAVE THEM MY HEART!

    WHEN BATTLING "CANCER", I GAVE IT TO "YOU",
    YOU HEALED ME IN NO TIME! FOR YOUR "POWERS" ARE TRUE!
    I THANK YOU EACH DAY, FOR ANSWERING MY "PRAYERS",
    AND WANT TO KEEP TELLIN YOU, THAT SOMEONE HERE "CARES".

    "I WORSHIP YOU LORD",,,,MY HEART BEATS FOR YOU,
    YOU GAVE BACK MY "LIFE", FOR YOU KNEW I'M NOT THROUGH!
    "YOU" GAVE ME THIS "GIFT", THE "POEMS" THAT I WRITE,
    "THROUGH "MY WORDS" ON PAPER,,,,,GIVE "EYES" A NEW "SIGHT"!
    "NOW LORD", YOU SHOULD KNOW, AS WE TALK EVERYDAY,
    I'M NOT SEEKING "PITY", YOU JUST SHOW ME THE WAY.

    YOU KNOW AS I SIT HERE AND FEEL ALL ALONE,
    MY KIDS HAVE NEW FAMILIES,THEY'RE OUT ON THEIR OWN.
    NOT A PHONE CALL OR VISIT,,JUST TO KNOW HOW THEY ARE,
    THEY LEFT ME HERE LINGERING, THEIR DISTANCE IS FAR!
    THEY'RE "HAPPY" WITH FAMILIES,,AND SHARE ALL THEIR "LOVE",
    I JUST TAKE IT EACH DAY,
    TALK WITH "YOU", UP ABOVE.

    "LORD", HELP ME TO KNOW HOW "OTHERS" CAN LIVE,
    GO ON WITH THEIR LIVES,AND FORGOT HOW TO GIVE.
    THEY'RE PLANNING THEIR FUTURES, OF FORTUNE AND FAME,
    MY "FAME" IS AT CHURCH,,,,MY "FORTUNE'S" YOUR NAME!
    DO THEY KNOW I STILL LOVE THEM?, DO THEY CARE HOW I AM?
    WILL IT TAKE A "NEAR DEATH"?, JUST TO SEE THEM AGAIN?!

    JUST TO OPEN MY EYES, AND SEE THEM AROUND,
    I'LL SEE "CONCERN" IN THEIR EYES,,,,BUT NOT HEAR A "SOUND"!
    I'LL FEEL A "SOFT HAND", AND KNOW THAT IT'S "YOU",
    ALONG WITH YOUR "ANGELS", WAITING PATIENTLY THROUGH.
    ONLY "YOU'LL" FEEL IT'S "TIME", OR IF MY "LIFE" WILL "RENEW".


    "NOW LORD", AS I READ BACK,,,,,,,THIS TALK THAT WE'VE HAD,
    I FEEL SO MUCH "STRONGER",FOR WITH "YOU" I'M NOT "SAD"!.
    AT THE SAME TIME IT "SCARES" ME! FOR IT'S NOT JUST A "POEM"
    IT'S "MY LIFE", THAT I'M LIVING,,,,AND AS USUAL, I'M "HOME".
    "LORD", SOMETHING'S" OCCURRING, HOW IT FEELS, I'M NOT SURE.
    BUT I THINK I HAVE BEEN THERE, AND IT'S CAUSED "INSECURE"!

    I "REFUSE" TO FALL "WEAK"!,AFTERALL I'VE BEEN THROUGH!
    I'M "STRONGER" THAN THAT, FOR I KNOW I HAVE YOU!
    WHEN TIMES HIT THIS "HARD",IT COMES BACK TO "MIND",
    IT'S BEEN THREE LONG YEARS NOW, BUT APPEARS JUST BEHIND!

    "HERE, LORD" TAKE MY HAND,AS WE WALK DOWN THAT HALL,
    THAT HALL OF "INSANITY",YOU WERE THERE THROUGH IT ALL!
    WE'LL WRITE THIS "TOGETHER",IF THERE'S A "BLANK" SPOT,
    "YOU'LL" FILL,
    FOR I REMEMBER EACH DAY,,,BUT KEPT "FALLING" DOWNHILL,

    REMEMBER THAT TIME? WHEN "CANCER" HAD STRUCK?
    DR. GAVE ME 6 MONTHS! NOW THAT REALLY SUCK!
    EMERGENCY SURGERY, JUST OVERNIGHT,IT HAPPENED SO QUICKLY,
    BUT YOU STAYED IN SIGHT!
    TWO DAYS BEFORE "CHRISTMAS", NOW THAT TOOK A SPIN!
    MY FAMILY WAS SHOCKED, MY "CHANCES" WERE THIN.
    YOU REMEMBER "LORD", HOW I PRAYED EVERYDAY?
    "NO VOICE" TO SPEAK,,,,,BUT YOU HEARD ME SOMEWAY.

    WELL SURGERY TOOK PLACE,,,,,CAME OUT WITH "GOOD NEWS",
    BUT WITHIN A FEW MINUTES,,,,"SATAN" PUSHED ME TO "LOSE"!

    ALL AT ONCE WITHIN MINUTES, I WAS DRAINED OF ALL BLOOD!
    A SIMPLE TUBE GOT PULLED OUT, MY FAMILY "WATCHED", WHILE I FLOOD.
    MY DOCTOR HAD LEFT,,,NURSES TRIED WHAT THEY COULD!
    THEN "SUDDENLY" A DOCTOR", CAME TO DO WHAT HE SHOULD.
    I LOOKED IN HIS "EYES", WHISPERED "SAVE ME, OH PLEASE"!
    AND HE "GLOWED" LIKE AN ANGEL,
    TOOK ME BACK WITH NO EASE.
    SECOND SURGERY, WAS DONE BY THIS "ANGEL" YOU SENT,
    I AWOKE ALL ALONE,,WONDERING WHERE "HE" HAD WENT.
    I HEARD NURSES TALKING, AS I LAYED THERE IN "PRAYER",
    THEN I HEARD THEM SAY SADDLY,,,,SHE'S LOSING, BEWARE!"
    NOW"LORD" AT ALL TIMES, YOU WERE THERE BY MY SIDE,
    JUST "WAITING" AND "WONDERING", IT WAS "ME" TO DECIDE!
    THEN I FELT A WARM FEELING, BUT STILL COULDN'T SPEAK,
    YOU "BOWED" DOWN BESIDE ME,
    YOU KNEW I WAS "WEAK".
    I FOUGHT FOR MY LIFE, SO IT WASN'T "MY TIME",
    I KNEW "YOU" WOULD "HEAL" ME,,,THOUGH IT TOOK YOU SOMETIME!

    WITH "YOU" AND YOUR "ANGEL", I WAS HOME "CHRISTMAS DAY",
    CAN'T REMEMBER IT ALL, BUT I KNEW WHAT TO PRAY!
    SO, "THE BATTLE" BEGAN, AND I GAVE ALL MY BEST,
    YOU "WATCHED",AS I FOUGHT IT,
    THEN YOU DID THE REST!
    YOU WERE GIVING ME STRENGHTH, EACH DAY OF THIS "HELL",
    AS I KNEW IN MY MIND,,,SOMEDAY I'D BE WELL!

    AS DAYS LINGERED ON,I GOT LIFELESS AND WEAK,
    AND HAD NO DESIRES, TO "EAT", "DRINK", OR "SPEAK",
    "THOSE" WERE THE TIMES,I ALLOWED "SATAN" TO TEAR!
    "HE" RIPPED AT MY "SOUL", AND SAID "NOT TO CARE"!!!
    "SOMEHOW", I "FAILED" YOU, BUT JUST COULDN'T "COPE"!
    THEN THE NEXT THING I KNEW,,I JUST "GIVE UP" HOPE!

    BUT, "LORD" YOU "FORGAVE" ME,AND STILL YOU STAY NEAR!
    FOR WHEN I "OPENED MY EYES", I WAS TAKEN SOMEWHERE.

    DOCTORS, AND NURSES, SURROUND WITH SUCH PACE,
    NEEDLES AND QUESTIONS, SHOUTING AT MY BLANK FACE!
    THEY TALKED ALL AT ONCE!DIFFERENT THINGS WENT AROUND!
    I TRIED HARD TO ANSWER, BUT STILL HAD NO SOUND!

    "OH LORD", I WENT BLANK, I WAS SCARED HALF TO DEATH!
    AND THEN AT ONCE CROSSED MY MIND, "I WAS ON MY LAST BREATH"!

    "OH DEAR LORD", CAN WE FIX THIS?, MY "LIFE'S" IN A DRAIN!
    AND THEN I FOUND OUT,,,,,,,I WAS GOING "INSANE"!
    AFTER ALL OF THEIR WORK, I WAS STUCK IN THIS ROOM,
    "THE FOG AND THE SPARKLES", IT WAS MY WAY TO "DOOM"

    THIS "ROOM" WAS GLASSED IN, AND I WAS PUT THERE ALONE,
    BETWEEN "LIVING" AND "DIEING", I WAS IN MY "TIME ZONE".
    EACH DAY AND EACH NIGHT, I WOULD "CRY", COULDN'T STOP!
    "NO ONE" AROUND, I COULD HEAR A PIN DROP.

    NO FAMILY, NO CHILDREN, NO ONE "CARED", BUT FOR YOU!
    IN MY "STATE OF MIND", I SAW "PEOPLE" WALK THROUGH,
    NONE OF THEM SPOKE OR PAYED ME NO MINE,
    IT WAS LIKE THEY WERE "PACING", FOR ME TO "DECLINE".
    THEY WERE DRESSED REAL "OLD TIMEY", LIKE BACK IN THE YEARS,
    "THEY" WERE THERE "WAITING" FOR ME, I WAS STILL SHEADING TEARS.

    SO "LIFELESS" AND "WEAK", I SHOWED THEM NO FEAR,
    I CAUGHT MYSELF "WAVING", BUT THEY WEREN'T REALLY THERE!
    "DISSTORTED","CONFUSED", I LOOKED EVERYWHERE,
    THERE WERE "PEOPLE" ALL OVER, BUT NONE OF THEM CARE!

    "THE FOG" SEEMED TO CLEAR,MY "SWOLLEN "EYES", COULD NOW SEE!
    WHEN FINALLY "ONE EYE CONTACT" WAS LOOKING AT ME!
    MY FIRST SIGN OF "HOPE", DID"YOU" SEND "HIM" TO ME??
    HIS "EYES" WERE "CONCERNING", A "WARM" HEART, I COULD TELL,
    WITH "YOU RIGHT BESIDE "HIM", CAN HE GET ME THROUGH "HELL?!
    NEXT THING I REMEMBER, HE WAS THERE BY MY BED,
    QUESTIONS UNANSWERED, HE WOULD MESS WITH MY HEAD.
     NOW "LORD" "WE" KNOW MUCH MORE" THAN THIS WE CAN WRITE,
    BUT WE'VE GOT LITTLE SPACE, BUT I THINK THEY HAVE "SIGHT",
    I'M LIVING PROOF OF YOUR GLORY, SO MANY SHOULD KNOW,
    WHATEVER "BATTLES" THEY HAVE,,,,,,,,YOUR READY TO GO!!!!!!!!

                                                                     PRAISE GOD!

       
     (i have 2 more yrs, but he's healed me , i know!)
                                                                                                   CAROLYN LOVE

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    Jedi4Jesus commented on "MY JOURNEY WITH GOD"

    07-05-2009

    When the heart is conflicted it is awesome to wrestle with God for the answers, the blessings, the healings, the miracles. May you struggle with God and find your way like Jacob in the bible who's named got changed to Israel because indeed he did "wrestle with God"

    carol1952

    07/05/2009

    GOD BLESS YOU FOR YOUR COMMENT, THIS POEM IS TRUELY ME AND GOD, I'VE GOT ANOTHER 2YRS DR.S SAY BUT I KNOW IN MY HEART, "GOD HEALED ME",,,THX AGAIN MY FRIEND,CAROL

    If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

    Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

    carol1952’s Poems (56)

    Title Comments
    Title Comments
    "MY VISIT TO HEAVEN" 1
    "havent a clue" 0
    THIS BROKEN DOWN ANGEL 1
    "TO BE OR NOT TO BE" 2
    "COMPANION" 2
    "MY LIFE IN A "NUT" CELL" 2
    "FARM LIFE" 2
    "COMPUTERS" 3
    "WALLS" 2
    "RAINBOWS" 3
    "CHANGES" 2
    "WILL YOU BE READY?" 1
    "THE CONNECTION" 2
    "THE INTRODUCTION" 1
    "THE BASICS OF LIFE" 1
    "JUST A LITTLE TALK WITH JESUS" 1
    "MISSING YOU" 1
    "CINNAMON" 2
    "JUST A MATTER OF TIME" 5
    "A GIFT FROM GOD" 8
    "I BELIEVE"!!! 6
    "CAN'T MISS A FRIEND, YOU NEVER HAD!" 5
    "USA" 3
    "BELIEVE IT OR NOT" 4
    "AS THE WORLD TURNS" 4
    "FANTASY FROM THE "PASSED" 1
    "QUIET PLACE" 2
    "SOMETHING FISHY" 4
    "LESSONS LEARNED, TABLES TURNED!" 6
    "THE JOURNAL" 4
    "BORROWED TIME" 5
    "YOUR'RE NOT ALONE" 4
    "JUST IN TIME" 1
    "LIFE" 1
    "TIM" 4
    "INSANE?" 4
    "A WORKING SOUL'S BOOST" 4
    "A TRUE BLESSING" 1
    "WITHDRAWN, WITH NO HOPE" 1
    "GOING HOME" 0
    "GONNA PLAY,,,,GOTTA PAY!" 3
    "THE TREE" 4
    "WEATHER OR NOT"! 1
    "MY JOURNEY WITH GOD" 1
    "MARRIAGE GONE WILD!" 2
    "CHRONIC PLEA" 0
    "NOT ALWAYS A "BOX OF "CHOCOLATES!" 1
    "THE POWER OF PRAYER" 4
    "ADDICTION" 2
    "CONFUSED, AND DOWNHEARTED" 2
    "ACCEPTANCE" 4
    "TWO DOGS DISCUSSING POLITICS" 4
    "DOG NAMED BLUE" 1
    "POET AND DIDN'T KNOW IT" 2
    "9-11-01" 3
    "A CRY FOR HELP" 3