"Victim"

18 Comments

  • MalikPeterson
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Poem Commentary

This is one that I actually wrote today. I am basically covering Kanye's "Amazing" and adding my own spin to it. The rhythm is the same as his in this one so you know how it is supposed to go if you have heard it before...if not...listen to it...then read....the Acapella will suffice lol.

"Victim"

Victim

She's buxom...
She's blazing...
Her soul may be empty...
but her body is amazing.

She flaunts it...
She waves it...
No hallucination...
I saw the code of her matrix.

But she's wretched...
She's hated...
Those are just her emotions...
when she hides and fakes it.

She's trapped...
and...
She's waiting...
For a superhero to come along...
and do some day saving.

And when she goes home...
she cries herself to sleep...
Her heart is a stone...
but even mountains weep.

She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.

She flashes...
She prances...
My mind breaches my waistline...
when I see the way she dances.

She's batting...
eyelashes...
Five fingers of death...
one touch'll put my heart in a casket.

But she's rancid...
She's putrid...
She often asks herself...
how could she be so stupid?

She's masking...
and...
She's dealing...
denial to herself...just to numb the feeling.

And when she goes home...
she cries herself to sleep...
Her heart is a stone...
but even mountains weep.

She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.


She's an addict...
fantastic...
she wasn't even real...
her existence was plastic.

Just a number...
Who hunger's humbled...
Every summer she's assaulted...
so she flips and she tumbles.

Now she's less of...
a person...
She smiled down the catwalk...
with no signs of aversion.

Excursions...
Explanations...
Every investigation...
ends with the culprit...

Satan

And when she goes home...
she cries herself to sleep...
Her heart is a stone...
but even mountains weep.

She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.
.
.
.
She's a victim.
.
.
.
of society.
 

© 2009-2010 Malik Peterson. All Rights Reserved.

Poem Comments

(18)

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Charlie23 commented on "Victim"

01-29-2010

Very interesting poem. Your title drew my attention, because of my hatred for the word, "victim". The poem offers a serious realism to it with the idea of a lone individual being taken down by the masses, perhaps for shear enjoyment, or perhaps as the old Beatles tune, "I am the walrus" because there are very few individuals in the world, and those who join the masses, are the masses because they must all do what the one next to them is doing. My take on your poem, I often wrong though...

MalikPeterson

01/29/2010

Thanks charlie for taking out the time to read this and comment on it. The first take you had on it was accurate and I am glad you got into it with your analytical pen at hand. I really do appreciate your time :)

oneloveALZ commented on "Victim"

12-15-2009

"Five fingers of death... one touch'll put my heart in a casket." this line right here was so good damn lol the whole poem was deep n im feelin this poem

MalikPeterson

12/15/2009

Thanks a lot one. Glad you are feelin it :)

SEVEN commented on "Victim"

12-01-2009

Well, Ok, lemme focus now....im still stuck on BUXSOM...of course the rest of the body of this poem is amazing too....very nice flow.....kudos

MalikPeterson

12/02/2009

Lol...thanks seven...glad you liked it man.

AmadeusEx commented on "Victim"

11-20-2009

the role of women in society, so many choose the easy road yet cant sleep at night, i respect the warriors, ugly and battle scarred but pure of heart, with truth blazing from their eyes, no regret in the morning, steel running down their spines....as usual, awesome poetry my man, loved this one, ten from me

MalikPeterson

11/23/2009

Thanks Amad...glad you liked it and related.

blanket commented on "Victim"

11-18-2009

Sounds very much like a song, and I'll even put music to it. LOVE IT

MalikPeterson

11/18/2009

That would be interesting...you should send it to me :)

Poetry is when an emotion has found its thought and the thought has found words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

MalikPeterson’s Poems (52)

Title Comments
Title Comments
"We: The World Famous Shameless Disappearance
"(song)
38
"The Gaudy Guise Of External Fortitude" 20
"Memorandum To The Masked Masses" 14
"The Melancholy Of The Heartless Ones" 19
"The Misconceived Symphony Of Synergy" 38
"The Complex Theory Of Beauty" 29
"Stuck In Traffic" 29
"Kiss The Demons And Make Them Cry" 37
"The Making Of A Classic" 16
"Only The Righteous Know" 46
"It Was All A Dream"(dream series) 13
"For The Love Of...?"(5 poem series) 23
"Media Collateral Ligaments" 40
"Note To Self" 19
"Survivor Series" 9
"Play It By Ear" 12
"On Pleasure I Land" 25
"Siamese Nightja-wu" 3
"Love Story v1: Jade and I" 22
"Would You Still Love Me?" 32
"Yesterday's Future Present" 18
"She's Deeply In Love" 26
"Voices" 10
"The Somnambulists
"
9
"The Passer By" 11
"A Heartfelt Debate" 8
"A Stark Life" 11
"The Sex Issue" 6
"Torn" 31
"Speaking of Deja Vu..." 4
"The Paradise Club" 5
"7 Days of Bloodshed" 13
"Reality" 6
"First Class Flyer" 4
"I Never Wrote A Love Poem..." 14
"Seasons' Dance" 5
"An UpWrite Soul" 4
"Lucid Alpha" 15
"The Voyager's Art" 5
"Promiscuous" 9
"Land of Make Believe" 5
"Normality" 9
"Once Upon a Yesterday" 11
"Victim" 18
"Just Invisible" 7
"Esteemed Colleague" 9
"Fly-By-Night Lights" 6
"Just Your Average Dreamer"(entr
y#3 dream series)
5
"The Essence of a Dream" 7
"Dreams" 13
"War" 9
"I Want to be a Martian" 19