Save This Child


Poem Commentary

I am a 33 mother of two and this is my first piece, I hope you enjoy and please rate it so I can have some feedback.

Save This Child

Once there was a tiny girl, so very sad.
As her tears fell they washed the viverant colors
right out of her world.
Grey was the tinge left behind in her eyes.
The weaping that fell from the windows of her soul quickly transformed to ice. As the chrystals strung down her beautiful mask, she aloud biterness within and apon her face.
Her heart was cold, she could not feel.
Her tiny little body could no longer embrace
any love for the pain made her numb. All that was left was an empty shell that was filled with hatred and rage. Without any notice not a thing
was done to save this child, who was only me.

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LenaM commented on Save This Child


Thank you for sharing your first piece . I encourage you to keep digging within to bring out your talents . I enjoyed this and you did very well for your first piece :)

laurilang5 commented on Save This Child


This is an excellent first piece. I could feel the pain in it, Remember the joy of spell check! ;-)



yes thank you

Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

utah’s Poems (2)

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Save This Child 2