Shelter Seeker

12 Comments

Tags:
  • Passion
    • ,
  • Love
    • ,
  • Emotional

    Poem Commentary

    this is taken from the moment when you see someone and feel something special happen to you, and the inevitable rise and decline of that relationship

    Shelter Seeker

     Felt the promise of friendship
    in her wistful smile
    The possibilities of creation
    within her bright eyes
    Drawn to her like flies on honey
    entranced by beauty a-plenty
    Fell hard into her
    broke my bones of love
    Accidents happen to careful people
    walls softened, opened to greet her
    Shelter seeker that I am, 
    I broke my bread and let her in 
    Passion drips from her like frost in hell
    rivers of captivity, I cannot despair
    She holds me down, beneath earth's crust
    I am a molten core, 
    believing in her promises of trust
    Gladly would I give my meager self,
    my reasons to live and my mental health
    Caught for one second in lust's embrace
    the smell of her skin
    and the salt of her taste
    Our tongues colliding
    throwing off sparks
    snakelike limbs writhing in the moist dark
    Neither thinking we wont finish what we start
    and the moment when,
    our words become flesh-tipped darts
    Heat-seeking twisted meanings
    that never meant anything
    The triumph of our union
    destroyed like so many things
    with the beat of a rhythm
    that doesnt care about hearts
    My place in her world fades
    Her face in mine stuck on pause
    Before we ever knew each others law's 

    Poem Comments

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    passionsdance commented on Shelter Seeker

    08-24-2009

    very passionate , exciting, and then sad, I truly enjoyed this one . accidents truly do happn to those of us who are careful ... you can avoid geting burnt by not touching the oven but none of us can avoid life ...... excellent job as always... I'm catching up all your new work so expect more comments from me . This is the first new one ( well new to me ) that I have read !!!! a 10 as always dear .
    Reply to Comment

    AmadeusEx

    08/25/2009

    missed you passions, all the old soldiers have moved on to other pastures, and this website is lonely, nice to see you back, hope you like my new poems, hope to chat with you soon

    Minerva22 commented on Shelter Seeker

    07-12-2009

    Great job, loved the end...My place in her world fades, her face in mine stuck on pause, before we ever knew each other's law's. Loved the passionate flow of it, 'broke my bones of love' nice line. My only complain is that to me, just my opinion, the two opening lines sounded a lil cliche, but you were on the right path to open this story. Again a great read.
    Reply to Comment

    sk8ergirl commented on Shelter Seeker

    07-12-2009

    that was awesome i could feel the emotion and the passion in it i can also see the pain in this poem i read poems by how they make me feel. i liked it very much great write
    Reply to Comment

    silentwriter commented on Shelter Seeker

    07-12-2009

    That was excellent I felt the emotion and passion and the pain as I read it which is what good poetry should cause. It was so simple and deep at the same time. I liked it great read.
    Reply to Comment

    popi1668 commented on Shelter Seeker

    07-11-2009

    Am, your words are very captivating and intriguing. "caught for one second in lust's embrace" That line captures the reality of many that look for love in all the wrong places,been there,done that! Well done my fellow writer and i look forward to more of your readings..... Peace and blessings!!!
    Reply to Comment

    AmadeusEx

    07/12/2009

    thank you popi, i especially enjoyed writing this piece, im glad you noticed and read it

    Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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