Shelter Seeker

12 Comments

Poem Commentary

this is taken from the moment when you see someone and feel something special happen to you, and the inevitable rise and decline of that relationship

Shelter Seeker

Felt the promise of friendship
in her wistful smile
The possibilities of creation
within her bright eyes
Drawn to her like flies on honey
entranced by beauty a-plenty
Fell hard into her
broke my bones of love
Accidents happen to careful people
walls softened, opened to greet her
Shelter seeker that I am, 
I broke my bread and let her in 
Passion drips from her like frost in hell
rivers of captivity, I cannot despair
She holds me down, beneath earth's crust
I am a molten core, 
believing in her promises of trust
Gladly would I give my meager self,
my reasons to live and my mental health
Caught for one second in lust's embrace
the smell of her skin
and the salt of her taste
Our tongues colliding
throwing off sparks
snakelike limbs writhing in the moist dark
Neither thinking we wont finish what we start
and the moment when,
our words become flesh-tipped darts
Heat-seeking twisted meanings
that never meant anything
The triumph of our union
destroyed like so many things
with the beat of a rhythm
that doesnt care about hearts
My place in her world fades
Her face in mine stuck on pause
Before we ever knew each others law's 

Poem Comments

(12)

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passionsdance commented on Shelter Seeker

08-24-2009

very passionate , exciting, and then sad, I truly enjoyed this one . accidents truly do happn to those of us who are careful ... you can avoid geting burnt by not touching the oven but none of us can avoid life ...... excellent job as always... I'm catching up all your new work so expect more comments from me . This is the first new one ( well new to me ) that I have read !!!! a 10 as always dear .

AmadeusEx

08/25/2009

missed you passions, all the old soldiers have moved on to other pastures, and this website is lonely, nice to see you back, hope you like my new poems, hope to chat with you soon

Minerva22 commented on Shelter Seeker

07-12-2009

Great job, loved the end...My place in her world fades, her face in mine stuck on pause, before we ever knew each other's law's. Loved the passionate flow of it, 'broke my bones of love' nice line. My only complain is that to me, just my opinion, the two opening lines sounded a lil cliche, but you were on the right path to open this story. Again a great read.

sk8ergirl commented on Shelter Seeker

07-12-2009

that was awesome i could feel the emotion and the passion in it i can also see the pain in this poem i read poems by how they make me feel. i liked it very much great write

silentwriter commented on Shelter Seeker

07-12-2009

That was excellent I felt the emotion and passion and the pain as I read it which is what good poetry should cause. It was so simple and deep at the same time. I liked it great read.

popi1668 commented on Shelter Seeker

07-11-2009

Am, your words are very captivating and intriguing. "caught for one second in lust's embrace" That line captures the reality of many that look for love in all the wrong places,been there,done that! Well done my fellow writer and i look forward to more of your readings..... Peace and blessings!!!

AmadeusEx

07/12/2009

thank you popi, i especially enjoyed writing this piece, im glad you noticed and read it

Poetry is what is lost in translation.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

AmadeusEx’s Poems (89)

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Title Comments
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I can't believe this is FANTASY 1
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Lust 15
Wanderlust 6
Carving Pumpkins 4
Brothers 3
Second Chances 8
The Infinite Appeal 4
A Song for the Departed 3
I Die the Next Day 4
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Ephemeral Dream Girl 2
Idle While.... 6
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King Forever 2
To Deceitful Eyes 1
Star Burning Bright 5
Swirling in the Tidewater 4
An Inch Away from Daylight 3
Shovelful of Earth 6
American Highway 1
Bitches Be Loco 4
Eddies of Fate 3
Magnified 5
Legacy Part One 4
Moving Inexorably Further Behind 12
Salvation of the Roses 39
The Emptiness of Breathing 11
Fall Into the Stream and Hold Your Breath 6
The Bloom Of Death 18
Slancha Ireland... 3
My Death Inside Me 0
Dark Passenger 4
No Salvation for the Saved 0
In the End we Pray... 1
I Walk With You 3
Regret of the Rarely Seen 9
This Daughter of Ours 4
This Day is Gone 8
Ladykiller 14
Insider 5
Bone 3
Ode to Holy Mountain 6
A Rembrandt in my Pocket 7
Tree 8
My Demented Decline 7
The Never Said 16
23 Seconds 14
The Blood of Ours 10
My Death Will Rise 7
Immortality of Youth 2
Shelter Seeker 12
I Took Her 9
The Bones of the Clown 8
Nothing But our Nights 27
Atlas and Pandora (the Strength and the Plague) 16
Sign 4
Rainbow Warrior 7
Grandma' 1
FOG IN THE GARDEN 0
Faith of An Unbeliever 12
ELEVATOR 5
Dual We You or Me... 1
As A Child 8
Heroes and Cowards 5
Shaitan 2
A Legacy 0
Beauty Awaits 2
Only So Far 4
A Composition of Sin 5
Bitter Salt in a Laboring Heart 0
Unmeant 3
Death of Promise 5
I'll Never Wake Up Free 2
Bleak 1
Paper Walls 4
At The Edge of Ruin 4
Kingdom in our Hearts 2
Air And Smoke 4
Eyes Struck Blind 3
You and I 3
Miz Understood Dream 2
One Escape 0
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Halo 3
Glass in Hand 2
Digital Legs 4
Immolated 4