Silence

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    Poem Commentary

    Do not speak about it your words may only destroy this fragile silence.

    Silence

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         ... ... ... ... ... ... / ...,
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    Silent sacrificial percusion ... slither silken escape ...,
    Silent mind gastric percusion somehow something undecided rhythm,
    Silent love percusion ... silent somnolence ... silent,
    Silence ... ... ... ... ... ... ...?

    Poem Comments

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    dahlusion commented on Silence

    01-29-2010

    Reality is therefore we are what we burn as energy, we witness the creation of things we do not understand or can not decipher. The avant-garde of this piece is a modern dance of the fingers on the key board with impossible melodies of flat and sharp lines.
    Reply to Comment

    RHPeat commented on Silence

    01-23-2010

    Silent Night? Cliche! Can't you say that differently. "DARK SILENCE" "Silence in distant stars" "Silent darkness" "Silent shadowed night" "night's silent shadow" " Night's dark silence." But the cliche hold a lot of images to the poem that don't relate at all. I love the concreteness of the poem. It's like quite rain or the silence of quiet rain. Concrete poetry are poems that the words from images of some sort which is what you have here. The concrete part of the poem is solid and works well. But the cliche pulled me out of what you had going. I'd look for a better way of wording it. Get imaginative like the concrete part is within the poem. a poet friend R:H Peat
    Reply to Comment

    MichaelTierney

    01/25/2010

    yeah I guess I was being lazy. sometimes I get in a rush to finish a poem and don't even see the silly things I put. thanks for the feed back, I will be editing it soon.

    RHPeat

    01/26/2010

    Hey we all do. Be sure an point it out to me; if you catch me doing it as well. I'll always appreciate it. Cliche's are easy to fall into; they're a real trap of a writer like hole ready to fall into. They're fine if you can find a way to twist them a bit to make them work. Like taking the meaning you want and rewriting them some. later. A poet friend// RH Peat

    Lizziewriter27 commented on Silence

    01-16-2010

    Thats an interesting poem. It's definitely different-not what i thought i'd c! But i guess the way i see it is that theres so much to tell in silence, that you took one of the most efficient ways to describe it-leaving most of it for the mind to wander. Very nice
    Reply to Comment

    MichaelTierney

    01/16/2010

    I am glad you liked it

    Poetry is what is lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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