Sonnet 1

19 Comments

Poem Commentary

I am writing a series of poems with someone I love very much, I wrote sonnet 1 and she wrote sonnet 2 and we will alternate back and forth and link each poem to the one that follows in the commentary, here is the link to hers, Sonnet 2 - http://www.originalpoetry.com/sonnet-2-my-midnight-sky

Sonnet 1



To compare our love to a gardens bloom
So delicate, and precious of a flower
Exudes a lovely fragrant perfume
Which glistens under moonlit rains shower
Sometimes, too wet the eyes of heaven cries
Often flooding the very soils of life
Whilst winds of change blow with intent to divide
Leaving the garden in perilous strife
But a love eternal's garden grows on
Through the winds and the rains of times trials
Deep seeded roots, gurantee the new dawn
Death beseiged by our loves stark denials
So long as the sun rises and sets yet again
So lives our love, and the memories of when



Poem Comments

(19)

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Musicmynded1 commented on Sonnet 1

12-08-2010

Nice and beautiful sus.. very enjoyable to read.. and its especially nice that a face to go with ur works are here:)

Helios commented on Sonnet 1

10-09-2010

Spence, I seemly adore your use of imagery and the metaphors you have placed within this piece is charming. I just have a few things to say, or maybe I'm too much of a formalist [laugh]. The usual sonnet has its meter and syllables for effective flow [which I see you have incorporated into your piece]. There are places which the flow seems interrupted. For example: "to com PARE our LOVE to a GAR dens BLOOM" or "so DEL i cate, and PRE cious of a FLOwer". I just feel that the accents interfere with your poem's flexibility.

Springsize commented on Sonnet 1

10-03-2010

ok, I have been privy to Sonnet 3 first and so I am reading Sonnet 1 with a more assured understanding and expectation as Reader.... and I like, the best, "deep seated roots, guaranteeing" the dawn's morrow... which is a secure and lasting concept of love...

Charlie23 commented on Sonnet 1

09-22-2010

You have weaved together some of the most beautiful ideas, between the three sonnets... that being said I enjoyed how different each one was from the other.... You are both very talented!

KellyRedhead commented on Sonnet 1

09-12-2010

I'm just gaping. Really. "Which glistens under moonlit rains shower," to me, is the most beautiful and evocative line in the poem. I could see the garden glistening under the moon. Thank you. Kelly

To have great poets there must be great audiences too.

Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)

SuSpence’s Poems (53)

Title Comments
Title Comments
Eyes Of Hazel One 6
Each New Day 16
The Tomorrow Dream 43
What See You 19
Nirvana (Haiku) 13
Sonnet 3 21
The Poetry Of Time 33
Mirrored Souls 33
My Open Broken Heart 20
Passing Thoughts 16
Sonnet 1 19
Ode To My Love 17
Angel With Butterfly Wings 20
Procrastinati
on
16
A Conversation in Appreciation 13
Miranda's Song 14
The Sarasota Blues 27
Highku 22
Tripping Stream of Consciousness 35
Along The River's Breath 51
Sometimes... 37
Transport 34
Love Never Knows 39
SuSpence's Dream 33
Ode to the Beatles (acrostic challenge) 18
The Generation Who Sold The World 30
Christine 24
Glenn Beck (Haiku) Compilation 32
The Tragic Tale of Alejandro Vega 56
Ballad of the Lost Man 32
Gulf of Fire (Haiku) 34
Fade to White 34
Ugly World 53
Searchin' for Love 26
Lost am I 28
Shards of Me 27
The Sadness, 10
The New Moon 18
I Imagine, 13
Lovesick, Lonesome Blues 11
SIX FOOT 11
Beautiful Poet 10
The Morning Sun 5
A Question for Love 13
Realm of Delusion 26
Simply Thoughts of You 9
Caught Staring 6
The Edge of the Headlands 3
In My Mind... 15
Thoughts of Natalia 14
A New Path 10
Daydream 12
Gone is my Sunshine 17