Steel Beasts Whisper...

11 Comments

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  • Suicide
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    Steel Beasts Whisper...

    There's sweat
    on my upper lip...
    Wetness on my palms
    cause the steel to slip.

    Tighten my grip,
    nows the time;
    gone is the girl
    who used to shine...

    It gleams in the light,
    black and silver,
    like the tears that run,
    down my cheeks, like rivers...

    Finger the bits,
    before putting one in.
    Cool little stones,
    filled with murder and sin...

    My hand cocks it,
    then runs across the barrel.
    My mind begins to take it in
    the almost-action and fills with terror.

    I close my eyes,
    to push away the fear...
    Bring up the beasts mouth,
    and let it whisper in my ear...

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    freezspirit commented on Steel Beasts Whisper...

    01-04-2011

    After losing someone to suicide this really touched home.
    Reply to Comment

    ImStillHere

    01/04/2011

    I'm sorry you lost someone like this... ~Audrey

    erroneousflint commented on Steel Beasts Whisper...

    10-18-2010

    A most harrowing peek into consequential damage toward its final crescendo at the unforgiving icy hands of permanent solution___Only the hard facts here in this write__Magnificent in its release
    Reply to Comment

    Teardrops commented on Steel Beasts Whisper...

    10-16-2010

    my dear friend first of all the poem is off the hook its great .Well written and full of drama . Let me ask you something have you ever seen what a bullet can do to the human body well i have its not pretty . Before you walk this path again please call someone and talk to them not the gun Marie
    Reply to Comment

    ImStillHere

    10/16/2010

    O.o thanks but Im NOT suicidal. And i have seen what it can do unfortunatly... ~Audrey

    Chaos128 commented on Steel Beasts Whisper...

    10-14-2010

    A macabre dance in a dark place that bates the breath and makes the blood run cold : 0
    Reply to Comment

    ImStillHere

    10/14/2010

    ... nice. ~Audrey

    carynontherhine commented on Steel Beasts Whisper...

    10-13-2010

    Wow I am, this is a write in which I can so relate as many times I had a vision of how and where I would get my beast and raise it. This is an awesome write as I hung to every word wondering if they would do it. Now that the whisper is up does that mean they did do it? omg, I can really feel for this person in your write. It is already in my fav's and only a talented poet as yourself could pull this one off. Not always an easy flow when the subject is self removal. You did it with flow and rhyme that I just think is truly brilliant especially the ending with bring up the beasts mouth, and let it whisper in my ear. Fantastic! Hugz
    Reply to Comment

    ImStillHere

    10/14/2010

    Im sorry you can relate to this :/ buut then again, evryone has thier own beasts, i suppose... Honestly, idk if they did it or not. :0 thanks for puuting it as ur fav tho :) ~Audrey

    Poetry is what gets lost in translation.

    Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

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