strike zone

6 Comments

strike zone

implacable and merciless
your condemnation falls
upon my unprotected head
a tangible weight
I seem to carry it the extra mile
like conscripted Roman citizens
stuck carrying your baggage
drafted, coerced
press-ganged into service
endlessly gratifying
your vapid hunger for
domineered, engineered validation
tight, the grasp of a benevolent dictator
on my personal liberties
you love me, you say
as though I've not yet understood
recognized your love is a tool
a weapon of mass manipulation
so, what's new? maybe...
that I have no more strike zone
so fire away
make it a kill shot
you can bury me here
under the weight
of your damaged luggage
my head stone
how apropos

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ginga commented on strike zone

06-24-2009

This is like voltage running through. WOW! The similes are outstanding. The rancor in this poem is impeccable. Keep on posting. Ginga

slohan4u commented on strike zone

06-10-2009

i really like this one. makes me think. thoughts and words fit and flow well(rest of my 100 characters.......................................)

connsk8 commented on strike zone

05-29-2009

I had to read this twice to appreciate the full effect of it, I can only say, your pen name should be Tender "passion" instead of Tender "poison" because although the subject matter may not be pleasant, there is such passion in your writing...I would love to see what you can do with something pleasant!!!

connsk8

05/29/2009

P.S. A sweet, "ten" der from me!!

StandingBear commented on strike zone

05-29-2009

Relationships can begin so pleasant and end the opposite. It is those that weather the storms whom will in the end be loved and appreciated. Great write. 10

castlemist commented on strike zone

05-29-2009

Wow, that's powerful. I love the feel of this poem. To be able to encapsulate such feeling with a economy of words takes talent. Good Job. Jerry

In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.

Franz Kafka (1883-1924) Czech writer.

tenderpoison’s Poems (116)

Title Comments
Title Comments
You Are...I am 2
la chanson de la petite mort 4
fallen 2
seasons 0
smoke 2
Thursdays Child 2
the edge 0
whispers 2
nothing left to say... 2
sense of season 2
suspension bridge 1
Legendary 1
Almost 3
compromise 1
the final line 1
weather report 6
lessons in loss 2
Walk Away 1
b*itch boots 5
fumbling, tumbling - falling down 6
metamorphosis mine 13
Secret Language 15
An Ode to StudlyVonFiel
dMarshall111D
ildoPic
7
everyothernig
ht
6
the ties that bind 15
spitting in the wind 9
paradigm 8
talking in tongues 10
cloudy skies 12
really 15
well, I guess I know what it's not.... 13
heart of stars 17
The Longest Road 14
Legacy 6
Despair 7
Delusion 7
Inflammatory 8
survival of the fittest 20
ephemeral 13
the fall of the inconsequenti
al
12
Modern Love 24
apathy the enemy 9
Oceans 7
Consummation 11
"I don't love you" I said 20
narcissus speaks 13
destination 9
expectations 6
worlds collide 6
afternoon delight 7
my addiction 19
spilt milk 8
bay-area tourist beware 6
reciprocal 7
take the lead 11
losing what's precious 20
figment 5
bacchus unveiled 9
genuine 24
fool's gold 13
silence speaks 9
dark temptation 10
glass beach 9
mother love 12
sweet nothing 9
lighthouse 6
unbound 8
One Moment 5
Michael Jackson is Dead 4
parley 4
unmasked 4
stand 5
sage 9
Rising 8
the last word 6
prelude to bliss 2
unstained 4
insatiable 3
not pretty 8
surrender 4
forsaken 5
kudos 5
fine dining 3
Pieces 4
the tree 16
inches 9
priceless 8
25 years 7
only a dream 9
reborn 5
flicker 5
unruffled 4
taking the air 6
cymbol song 4
strike zone 6
nine days in turlock 9
through the pale 8
redemption song 3
Wise Men Know 8
not so ancient history 7
my forefathers? 2
American Memorial 2
bitter harvest 4
unconquered 52
what's in a name? 5
Flattery 5
me and a tube of crazy glue 6
eternal vows 2
Old Friend 5
directions to destiny 4
Illumination II (a rewrite) 7
Illumination 6
submission - things they don't teach girls 22
Echo 20
Bride 16
Undone 21