Ah! My friend! Please sit down and be welcome!

Hungry I hope? Good! Please, please sit down!

Anything to drink while you wait for what you desire?

How about some fresh red wine? Why do you cower?

Oh no! See I’m the chef here! Yes, yes, all I do is cook and cut

You know, I just got some fresh Pork imported into this hut

They tell me it was just killed this morning, freshness is important!

You’ll take that!? Good my dear friend. I am at your service like a lieutenant!

Quickly, we must get the body from the back my friends.

Hurry! We must prepare him to be shipped out! Nip those ends!

Where’s the cleaver? I must remove his arms

Carefully… we mustn’t haste or draw alarms…

Slowly, through the marrow, through the bone

Gut the pig! Just as I have shown

No! Save the intestines, for stews, sauces, or soups.

 Let the liquid flow until its only drops.

Good, now here, quickly, hack off the legs

Careful! Those can be turned into steaks!

Trim the buttocks, those will make a fine rump roast

A little small maybe, but we’ll do our best

Lop off the lower section, and throw it away!

Careful not to get feces on the blasted tray

See those? The abs? Nice prime aged pig!

Come hither, lets remove its head!

Nothing can be saved, unless you’re a fan of eyes or brain

Remove the spinal column, carefully don’t strain

Now lets stuff him! Bring me an orange, some onion, pepper, and salt!

Quickly my friends, we dare not halt

Hurry before someone sees, we don’t need to be found

There now sow him up, and we’ll cook him all around!

Into the oven, and onto the spit!

We have done it! This is it!

You, hurry take out the trash

Haha! We did it! Murder at last!

What can you say? What can you do?

Nothing! Because soon you’ll be cooked through and through!

Are we ready now, for him to be served?

Big smiles people! There is something to be proved

Wait for him to take a bite,

 Then ask if it’s in his delight

With any luck we shall see

If he likes our enemy

Slice here and here, and give him piece

Wait for it… wait for it… be at ease!

Big smiles, remember and now we see

“Sir, is the meal as you please?”
He nods happily, slicing into another

And we bow vigorously returning to the kitchen.