The Emptiness of Breathing


Poem Commentary

wrote this on a random winter afternoon

The Emptiness of Breathing

there are mysteries all around
beneath our feet
in the water we drink
the sky above explodes with love
those distant stars of dead light

the last world they find
the farthest from home
whatever dreams we have
are buried in the same plot of space 

denied the escape of grace
fickle hearts and rainy droughts
each eye avoiding the black in-between truths
fighting over hollow deserts

ak's in the hands of untaught youths 
the misery of never knowing anything
our fleshy bodies realing
from the stress of forgetting

injustice and greed
the temple builds upon
the blood of the slaves
where hearts are stolen
for the love of a god

misused and broken
inside a rich mans mansion
he cries over the death of his moral suicide
the children cannot weep
but the mothers will ever hide

their guilty grasp of what is right
never to win over the necessity of sin
in our average days
we desire the haze over stark realities

the flushing stream frees us
from the memory of the bark
till all is dark and worlds are transformed
the forests ablaze

beneath skies of unbreathable chrome
each young boy and girl still free
imagining the life of what could be 
will only find another key
to treasures of immortality

most will join the earthly night
never to glance in the sky in fright 
for they are bound to take their blood
into the ground with all they have learned

and the stars will wither
the sun will weep
the mountains will shatter
and fall into the deepest of seas 

for there are mysteries all around,
beneath our feet...
in the water of our birth
we will drown in defeat

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stellar commented on The Emptiness of Breathing


Wow...I am carried away by this poem again..grand entrance..Beautiful imagery and powerful passion...Winter is really a great inspiration lol..To understand this much better..I resort again to DH..for she has a very keen eye and I like the way she criticize..Thanks for sharing ^_^ v



thank you so much stellar...i love winter as headed home to iowa in ten days for christmas(im in texas right now) cant wait to play in the snow

Tempy commented on The Emptiness of Breathing


very self exploring. although somewhat very sad. Lifes never easy is it

Madelynn commented on The Emptiness of Breathing


Ok-you have now been recognized in my sights, as the latest-'smokin' pen!' Are you for real. This is jaw dropping work, my friend! Everything you have conveyed in this write was written poetically insane! You are a gift to read! -and born, to write.-smiles,Maddi



smokin pen:) i love that should read NOTHING BUT OUT NIGHTS and ATLAS AND proud of both of those

knight4696 commented on The Emptiness of Breathing


Wow!!! This is awesome! Need I say more ...... Ok :) Really too many great lines!! I guess if I have to choose a fave it would be .... "injustice and greed - the temple builds upon the blood of the slaves - where hearts are stolen for the love of a god" WOW!!!! GREAT JOB!!! :) ................... Ken

redbloodink commented on The Emptiness of Breathing


intense writing... the thoughts of just being or exsiting is reality, but how we treat eachother is a bigger reality..... Not just the rich but the poor as well..... God made all equal to serve eachother and Him.... I really enjoyed this piece of art thanx for sharing Red

A poem begins as a lump in the throat, a sense of wrong, a homesickness, a lovesickness. It finds the thought and the thought finds the words.

Robert Frost (1875-1963) American Poet.

AmadeusEx’s Poems (89)

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