The Poison Picked

4 Comments

Poem Commentary

From a line given out in the chat room

The Poison Picked

An apple on a tree seems so small and unripe as she thinks of those foreboding words of warning.

How could something so innocent be left untouched and uneaten.

Though shall no eat of the tree of knowledge the master said, WHY.

What shall happen, his anger unfurled laying waste to our home.

Women you shall not be punished spoke the legless one, be witness to the unknown.

Being so convincing she plucked the fruit and ate the flesh.

In a blinding flash knowledge sped into her mind, she was aware.

Learning of nakedness and embarrassment she clothed herself.

Speeding towards her mate she found him knowing also.

They fell to their knees at the coming of the master, He spoke to them in fury they had never beheld.

Banished you are from this place, your trials and hardship have begun.

They pleaded for forgiveness and understanding, only to have it fall upon deaf ears.

Forever shall you remember these wonderful days in paradise lost because of the poison picked this day.............

 



 

Poem Comments

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Charlie23 commented on The Poison Picked

09-06-2009

I like the subject you choose here. The knowledge they gained took away from comfort, as now where all clothed to hide us from shame.

lucky62

09/06/2009

i wish i had spent a little more time thinking about these lines. I wasn't happy with it. Glad you did thanks.....

bforibus commented on The Poison Picked

09-03-2009

i love the thought of this piece. to me it seemed a little mechanical then beautiful. for something so divine. just the thought along should of been awe inspiring but it seemed a little souless. i do enjoy the subject though so good job ont hat.

lucky62

09/03/2009

thanks for the truth I was thinking in a hurry as this one spelled itself out.........

photochick commented on The Poison Picked

09-03-2009

perfect imagery great flow fantastic poem and story as always outstanding how you take one line and form it into this amazing talent lucky great write cant wait to see the next one

lucky62

09/03/2009

I amaze myself sometimes your bucking for a raise on your allowance honey.........

Sydney commented on The Poison Picked

09-03-2009

this is fantastic and wonderful. a great depiction of the fall of Adam and Eve and the tree of knowledge

lucky62

09/03/2009

you started me off bye that simple line you wrote.........thanks

The true philosopher and the true poet are one, and a beauty, which is truth, and a truth, which is beauty, is the aim of both.

Ralph Waldo Emerson, American Poet (1803-1882)

lucky62’s Poems (45)

Title Comments
Title Comments
SHIT HITS THE FAN AND THE DEVIL AND HIS DETAILS 0
Somethings Wrong 0
Tepid 0
The City Rendered 0
POTUS 1
No Future 0
From Danny to Daniel 0
FOR WHAT ITS WORTH 0
Punished 0
DRACULA BLACK 1
Spanish Fly 5
The Theft of a Watermelon 6
Alas No More 6
Edgar Dear Edgar 12
Gonzo Revisited 3
The Wood Nymph's Frolic 6
Cloudy With a Chance of Insanity 8
Kings, Poets, and Minstrels 12
My Stormy Night 1
Effigy 2
The Poison Picked 4
Always Willing 9
Sometimes I Cry 8
Loved Ones Lament 2
Smiling Jack 5
Open Your Eyes 7
Who's Kissing Her Now 6
Raining Love 2
Sprouting Wisdom 3
The Eternity of Darkness 5
Looking Through You 7
Ohana 4
Slap Me 5
Sunrise From The Edge Of Fire Mountain 11
Money 11
An Unused Heart 30
Crippled 7
Something Special 1
Another Thursday Night 4
The Warrior in Me 1
Reaper 7
Lucifer's Bond 10
Requiem for Cliff 3
Is It Me 6
Legacy 8