The Vicarious Rues.....

6 Comments

  • Altair
  • Don't read me, I am not that good.......

Poem Commentary

I very encompassing thought I had today as I meditated on self....

The Vicarious Rues.....

I been crawling on my belly
clearing out what could have been
I tend to swallow my all consuming feelings...Insecure delusions.
I want to feel the coming waters
the darken clouds are coming in
I want to wallow in my mind trap confusion...flooding deluge storming.

My shadow has been digging
deeper still upon the wind
In its perceptive being lost of meaning...Eating all my likeness.
My yearning for more than darkness
the sunlight is beckoning
My thoughts within this losing fusion...Conscious fails in mentioning.

What does it mean to cross the waters
without a boat to guide me in?
I want to feel the weight of drowning change...Assume my all consuming.
What does it mean to follow my shadow
into depths I cannot fit in?
My beginning containment lies in vain...Stretched in this awakening.

In my shadowed wants...my shadow wants...change is coming through
my shadowed haunts..my shadow wants....to sheds its skin
I been digging through this watered command.

I been crawling on my belly
cleansing out the tainted sand
I want to wallow in my eyed all consuming...Insecure delusion
I want to lie in lotus gardens
scented ends of mysticism
I want to feel the colors as my shadow...Distorting all its being.

I want to feel the change consume me
forever once in infinite
I want to feel the coming storm beckoning...Reigning my departing
May this vision conjure colors
never still I'm welcoming
I move forth to the rivers of conscious blending...Reaping my rewarding.

In my shadowed wants...my shadow wants...change is coming through
my shadow taunts...my shadow haunts...my inner sins
I been digging through my welcomed bend.

Listen to my fallen memory.....

Only to be lost in tragedy......

There is nothing I can claim too....

But the thought of broken melodies...

I.....choose to follow you.....cold......had enough of you....cry.....choose to mimic you.....die.....choose to follow you...bold......had enough of you....dust.....choose to mimic you..thus.


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knight4696 commented on The Vicarious Rues.....

04-27-2010

Altair - Not that good huh? What a bunch of BS. You are one of the best poets on this site! If not that good is referring to a metaphorical emotion .. then just know you have many friends out here to support you. In either case - BS lol! :) This poem is different in style for you, but I love this reflectional write! Awesome job my friend! :) Ken

Altair

04/27/2010

lol, well ken, I am not sure why I put that as my status, perhaps to entice the mind of others to take a chance on reading me..but either way, I am perfectly fine with my loyal handful of friends that do read me on a regular basis, it is much appreciated. And I figured you could appreciate the variation in style I am beginning to portray, it is still much like me, but I have been flowing to the sound of an electric guitar in my head lately...so that is how it guides me . Much appreciate man

ginga commented on The Vicarious Rues.....

04-25-2010

Altair, Perception, angst, identity crisis, it's all in here and much more. I love the way you ended this poem with the short phrases and ellipsis. ginga ginga

Altair

04/25/2010

Thank you ginga, your comment means a lot

dreamscape commented on The Vicarious Rues.....

04-24-2010

I am standing applauding this marvelous poem altair...how in the hell do you do it? I mean, your mind is craze with things I could never see myself saying when i write, especially in this one. The flow is awesome, all the pauses in transition and the content is beyond anything, damn...All i can do is exhale, for breathing this in has left wonderful thoughts in my head. And proves to me why you are OP's finest

Altair

04/25/2010

awww dream thank you, but I am sure you have the capacity to create anything you want. This is a terrific compliment, you always bring the smiles dear. Thank you so much

MalikPeterson commented on The Vicarious Rues.....

04-24-2010

Let me reflect upon what I just read...and all the images you put in my head....about what...what was that line you said? In my shadowed wants...my shadow wants. That line right there was pretty kill bill lol. You and words go together like white on rice. Kudos.

Altair

04/24/2010

haha kill bill, i loved that movie...thanks for the compliment man, me and words go together like white on rice hahaha

SuperChick76 commented on The Vicarious Rues.....

04-24-2010

Such a broken verse of desire and pain. A realization of self, in not the best of forms. Beautifully expressed, love...

Altair

04/24/2010

why thank you prodigy...glad you made it through. And I hope you can come to appreciate my new form of self expression..the broken lines are quickly becoming something I add to my poems in fruition to my thoughts...

If I feel physically as if the top of my head were taken off, I know that is poetry.

Emily Dickinson (1830-1886) American poet.

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