This Chair Can Be Throne Away

15 Comments

Poem Commentary

Thought I'd experiment with rhyming stanzas increasing by one line in length each time, up to six lines. It is about a father at work learning of the death of his son after being hit by a car. The child was six years old, hence the poem culminating in six lines.

This Chair Can Be Throne Away

He sits upon his creaking throne-

Quiet, thorn-faced, his sturdy frame regressing on its own.

 

The unmaimed messenger had left through a side door;

The completed exit was still echoing along its dusty tour,

Ringing off crevices to fill the void left by the words, only four

 

But none more assassin-like could ever enter one’s head:

By the second, he had known what further two were ahead,

And had turned so as to try to avoid the stab all would dread-

Short pause, as long as a lifetime, before, “your son is dead.”

 

He had bore pleadingly into the other’s eyes, longing for a sign

That a mishearing had occurred somewhere along the line

Or along the three feet of desk, or perhaps the two combined.

But it had not been present, only one who dared not recline

Nor rise to rash urges to opine.

 

They had waited to be dismissed, some wait given the shock they’d had to air

And try as they might, there had been little they’d been able to prepare

To cushion the collapse of his resolve when the disbelief became despair

So they had left unnoticed whilst telephone, intray and tears crashed everywhere

Before all fell deathly still, save for closing door and creaking cathedra, or chair-

Kingdom crushed like a child beneath a car, it’s no throne without an heir.

Poem Comments

(15)

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LenaM commented on This Chair Can Be Throne Away

11-15-2010

I will comment on this in more depth when and if I can find adequate words to describe what this made me feel . There are so many depths to this poem. Arron I must say you simply blow me away with your abilities to draw the reader in and evoke such strong emotions . Outstanding is so insufficient yet at the moment I'm too thunderstruck to write more

KKFay commented on This Chair Can Be Throne Away

11-02-2010

Very true, I know from experience but my family was lucky when my sister was hit by a car and body slammed the windshield that she survived. Her body left a four inch or 10cm impression in the windshield and she had only turned 11 the day before. I saw it happen out of the corner of my eye and it was too late to call out and we were only three houses down from ours. I was only 9 and to say the obvious it's messed with my mind because she was biking over to me to tell me something. I know how that despairing grief feels because now she has serious spine problems and it's partially my fault because I did wait for her at the corner like she wanted me to. It's terrifyingly true what you wrote.

arronpalmer

11/08/2010

I'm sure everyone, including myself, and most importantly your sister, does not hold any blame towards you at all. It's one of life's crueler strokes, but I'm certain your sister knows you would do anything to turn back time but, knowing that you cannot, would settle for your support instead of your grief and despair. I'm sorry if this poem evoked tough feelings for you, thank you for showing the strength of character to read and comment it Kristy.

MarionYost commented on This Chair Can Be Throne Away

10-29-2010

wow. That's so sad the ending is so relatable. this write really pulls at the emotions of your readers. This is great. Looking forward to reading more from you. All the best -Marion-

arronpalmer

10/30/2010

Hey Marion, thank you for stopping by, I intend to get round more of your stuff too :)

Chaos128 commented on This Chair Can Be Throne Away

10-27-2010

You know when, early in the story, a minor character exits the room, and his claim to fame is the fact he's "unmaimed" (ha ha) that you took a wrong turn, somewhere, on the way to find a warm and fuzzy narrative. No matter, tragedies hold their somber heads up with the best of 'em. The offered structure required effort and attention. I'd say your experiment was a success.

arronpalmer

10/28/2010

Hey there Chaos, you nailed it with your description of this as an experiment, so thank you for that. And thank you further for deeming it a successful one, that is very kind. However, I am unsure as to the meaning of the first part of your comment. Are you saying that I could've written the messenger's character better or more appropriately so as to be more in line with the overall mood of the poem? Or are you saying you as the reader mis-guessed the outcome of the poem when reading those early lines, possibly expecting a "warm[er] and fuzz[ier]" tone? Either way, it perhaps suggests some revision may be needed to tighten up my poem. Please reply to clarify, as I welcome constructive criticism, it is one of the primary reasons I signed up to this site. Thank you so much for your time ~ Arron

whiteoleander commented on This Chair Can Be Throne Away

10-25-2010

I read and pick through your words and take them in softly in places and in others they force themselves upon me demanding my attention several of the poems I have read of yours have this effect making it difficult to tell if Im processing the words and meanings or if they are speaking for themselves with an enchanting voice emitting from my computer screen. I enjoy your work

arronpalmer

10/28/2010

Thank you so much! That comment was as descriptive and 'floaty' as any poem!

Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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