After All

I exist in a dreamy haze.

Our lips meet, hands explore, hearts race.

We separate briefly

And the world slams back into place,

Colors more forceful than before,

Vibrant, demanding they not be ignored.

But there is only us.

I am floating in a Monet,

Swirling, drifting,

Not scared enough to seek a steadying force.

Voices of warning are far away, almost whispering.

They do not grasp that

I am enjoying this ride.

I am struck by the unbidden thoughts

Named Doubt and Distrust.

They are no friends of mine,

Though we are well acquainted.

I consciously cast off all of the negativity

Clinging to me, pulling me under.

I am startled at how effortless it is.

Now my world is in repose,

A tranquil moment, completely submerging my focus.

There is a curious feeling surrounding me,

As though a journey has simultaneously ended and begun.

I breathe deeply, enjoying the warmth of his skin,

Acutely aware of his intense gaze,

Contemplating what?

The world and all of its faults have become incidental.

I hadn’t realized how compressed my life had become,

How focused I’d been on merely surviving.

I am delighted as I remember the vitality and majesty of life.

It is as though I am experiencing three-dimensional views

With all my senses.

I am waking from a long sleep

Into a dream.

This is not the electricity kind of chemistry,

When you stand close and

Are wondering-fearing-hoping your hand may accidentally

Brush against his.

That sentiment fades.

This is more like the anticipation of glimpsing

Something extraordinary from the corner of your mind’s eye.

He holds me close, his arms surrounding me,

Shielding me from unknown threats.

His intimate embrace,

His warm eyes captivating me,

His soothing tone,

Making me dare to believe

Someone finally loves me as completely as I love him,

Consequences be damned.

I have no apprehension regarding

Where he will lead me.

I have the feeling it is where I belong.