WANTING

WANTING YOU IS HARD FOR ME, IT MAKES ME CONFRONT THE PERSON I AM AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE THIS IS ME.
WHERE DID I GO?
HOW DID I GET LOST?
WHY DOESN'T MY HEART UNDERSTAND THE HIGH COST?
I WISH I KNEW, IT PERPLEXES ME, I FEEL BLIND GROPING IN THE DARK AND I CAN'T SEE.
I WISH I COULD OPEN MY EYES AND GO BACK TO THE WAY IT WAS.
GO BACK TO A SIMPLER PLACE, WHERE A LOOK OF LOVE WAS ON YOUR FACE.
I HURT, I ACHE, MY FEELINGS ARE IN A CONSTANT STATE OF UPROAR.
YOU HAVE SHAKEN ME TO MY VERY CORE.
I CRY FOR YOU, I WEEP.
YOUR FEELINGS FOR ME ARE NOT THE SAME.
THEY WILL NEVER BE AS DEEP.
I WISH YOU WERE SOMEONE I COULD KEEP.
I HAVE TO LET YOU GO EVEN THOUGH IT IS HURTING ME SO.
I PHYSICALLY HURT, MY HEART CONSTRICTS.
MY EYES LEAK TEARS THAT NO WORDS CAN FIX.
WHAT HURTS THE MOST IS YOUR FEELINGS DON'T EVEN COME CLOSE TO WHAT I FEEL.
YOU KEEP YOUR FEELINGS CLOSE TO YOUR CHEST.
AN ACT I ENVY AND WISH I COULD IMITATE, SO THAT MY HURT COULD BE LESS.
SO MANY FEELINGS ARE SWIRLING IN MY HEAD, MAKING ME FEEL I'D BE BETTER OFF DEAD.
I PUSH THESE FEELINGS BACK AND TRY TO REACH FOR NUMBNESS INSTEAD.
THIS REACTION IS EVEN WORSE BECAUSE THE NUMBNESS WEARS OFF AND I STILL HAVE A YEARNING THIRST.
TO BE WITH YOU; TO BE DROWNED IN YOUR KISSES, YOUR LUST, TO BATHE IN YOUR LOOKS AND EARN YOUR TRUST.
NONE OF THESE THINGS APPLY.
I HATE THE FACT THAT ALL I CAN DO IS HELPLESSLY CRY.
I WISH I KNEW THEN, THAT I WOULD BE HERE IN A PLACE, SO FULL OF SADNESS THAT I AM SLOWING DOWN IN THE RACE.
A RACE I'VE RUN FOR YEARS TRYING TO OUT PACE MY FEARS.
YOU'VE CAUGHT UP WITH ME AND DRAGGED ME DOWN.
YOU'VE TURNED MY SMILE INTO A FROWN.
YOU CAN'T EVEN TELL ME YOU WANT TO SEE ME.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW YOU AND YOU DON'T KNOW ME.
I'M LEARNING FAST YOUR NOT TO BE TRUSTED.
I WISH I HAD KNOWN THIS EARLIER, I WOULDN'T HAVE LUSTED.
I'M ON A LEARNING CURVE NOW.
I MAY NEVER FIND PEACE.
BUT........IN THIS PLACE AND TIME I REFUSE..... TO BE A VICTIM OF YOUR LOVE CRIMES.
NO TRUST I HAVE FOR YOU, ON ME YOU SLAKED YOUR LUST.
SO, NOW THAT IT'S OVER, I CHOOSE TO LEAVE YOU IN THE DUST.
WANTING YOU IS HARD FOR ME. IT MAKES ME CONFRONT THE PERSON I AM AND IT'S...... HARD TO BELIEVE THIS IS ME.

TRINA N. THOMAS-EADDY 07-04-10