When It Rains

12 Comments

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  • Optimistic

    When It Rains

    When it rains, it pours
    So relax and dance in the storm
    Wash away all the hurt
    Rinse away all the pain
    Tomorrow could be beautiful
    You may smile that day
    Forgive, but never forget
    Dont live inside your regret
    Look to the future
    You won't know what's in store
    Until you forgive
    For just one day more
    Don't be sad or glum
    The next time it rains
    That's the day to wash yourself
    Of all your hurt and pain

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    koppe commented on When It Rains

    04-30-2012

    Very moving piece!!! I cood feel the enthuiasum right off the start. U have some good stuff and it shows from all the feedback u recieve. WriteRightOn.com
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    redbloodink commented on When It Rains

    11-28-2009

    Chell this is an outstanding write.... Props to you and this work.... Thanx for sharing the pain the rain and letting it all be washed away..... Red
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    MRNASTEY commented on When It Rains

    10-29-2009

    a) you need to be careful with clichés - that line one throws a red flag to any publisher you might submit this to. b) the 'so' at line 2 does no work and diminishes the tone of the rest of the piece slightly c) the 'that' in line 6 is awkward construction - it tends to distract from the meaning, and make the rhyme seem unnatural. d) the lack of consistency in the rhyme makes the rhyme as a whole not work as well as it might with a planned out scheme. All in all, I think the ideas are pretty ok, and it's certainly good advice. If you were going to submit for publishing you'd have to do a bit of work to get it up to snuff.
    Reply to Comment

    Bethane1978 commented on When It Rains

    10-14-2009

    Wow. This is an excellent poem. You did a great job. Keep up the great work.
    Reply to Comment

    dumplin commented on When It Rains

    10-08-2009

    Very good advice for such a young lady. I hope you hold onto those words forever. If so, you will live a very happy life.
    Reply to Comment

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

    Chelles’s Poems (7)

    Title Comments Submitted
    Title Comments Submitted
    When It Rains 12 10/07/2009
    In Hopes 4 09/18/2009
    Broken 27 09/25/2009
    Dravyn 3 09/25/2009
    I Apologize 8 09/20/2009
    Would You? 6 09/20/2009
    To the One I Love 2 09/18/2009
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