when the carnival goes dark

2 Comments

Tags:
  • Fantasy
    • nini2323
    • I once knew everything, and now I know nothing.

    when the carnival goes dark

    The carnival city,beside the toxic sea
    Where once I stood by the water,waiting
    On the shore where chemicals from too many iron giants ruin tidepools mixing rainbows of oil
    Wanting to feel the burn of the ocean
    To be cleansed by white hot
    Waves
    I wanted to live in the ocean then

    It was there, under neon rainbows
    I first saw him
    He was dark like the city
    Unrefined, unkempt, unlike any southern gent
    I'd ever met.

    He turned into me, around a corner.
    I turned into him metaphorically
    His teeth sharp under soft full lips
    brown eyes to old for his scarred frame

    I saw his scars beautiful and serene
    Unliike the place he came from
    Each one was a battle scar from a war with no winners
    Against himself, his soul and body collide
    Like the waves
    Like the drugs
    LIke the beach
    like me

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    DestinedQueen commented on when the carnival goes dark

    10-05-2009

    Interesting how you would have wanted to live in the sea so polluted by those big iron giants. Again you have beautiful imagery here and I've noticed that you also have a type of form that fits this piece beautifully. I love how you use a phrase like "a war with no winners" and then relate that to your earlier imagery of the polluted sea with the waves seemingly beating the pollution yet still not winning their own war. However, you also saw in a seemingly dreadful person the beauty and refinement no one else seemed to see and that is simply amazing.... DQ

    muttman1 commented on when the carnival goes dark

    02-25-2009

    awesome!!!!!!!!!!

    Poetry is not the expression of personality but an escape from personality.

    T. S. Eliot (1888-1965) American-English poet and playwright.

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