Where were you?

Where were you?

You claimed to be my father but your presence was constantly out of sight
I could not deny the fact that you were never there for me no matter how hard i fight
You never said you were proud of me no matter what i would do
There are many times when i wanted to say you were not my father even though it would have been untrue
Where were you when i needed you most through my adolescent stage?
You never even helped me when after my heart was being picked on i was so full of rage
Where were you when I learned rejection as being the opposite of love?
Were you ever even one to care when i wanted to take my life and proceed to the heavens above?
Where were you when i was trying to find who i truly am?
It wasn't until i was older when you taught me lifes lessons and how to be a man
Where were you when i had gotten so frusterated with life that i could have cried?
You never even cared to talk to me or mourn with me when the only person who ever understood me had died
Where were you when I found an outlet to getting away from my pain?
Why weren't you there when i was making basket after basket to get away from you and mom fighting and getting away from the teardrops like rain
Why were you not there when I felt so much joy of making shot after shot?
While I was thinking of my up and coming future during graduation night you could have been a father and joined me and never got caught
Where were you when i woke up in the emergency room that one nightmarish night
Why were you not there to help to relax me when all i wanted to do was just to fight
Where were you when i was feeling all of this grief and pain?
Why were you not there when i had gotten so frustrated with life in general after nearly limping home from work in so much pain and feeling teardrops like rain.
You have used up every excuse in the entire book
To be a better father all you had to do is watch the fathers around you and look
I'm so sorry for being born disabled and being the way i am
I'm so sorry for not being normal enough for you that you could not speak to me man to man
I'm so sorry I couldnt be the son that you have always wanted most
Most of all I'm so sorry I have to write this and let my heart coast.
I couldn't help that I am me and that at times people would stare
Why couldnt you just have pride in having a son that tried to do everything to make you happy and these people be unaware
I thank you for the little parenthood that you had given to me
You have not taught me the greatest lesson of all that love and pain are not fre