WHY GOD WHY

I'm ok,or so I thought

I wasn't really bad.

I didn't turn the other cheek,

Or pretend I wasn't mad.

Maybe I kept the store change,

When I was given too much.

Didn't make time for others

I wasn't very good at keeping in touch.

I might have told a lie or two

To make it through the day.

What did it really matter

No one cared anyway.

I didn't call up to God in prayer

I had it under control.

Why would I want to talk

To someone I did not know.

He wasn't there when I was young

Hungry and lonely and lost

He wasn't there when I was beaten

And to different places tossed.

Where was He when I was seven,

My dad on top of me.

Or when being drowned in a lake

For then I was only Three.

From house to house,town to town,

Friends I never knew.

From dad to dad,man to man

This is how I grew.

Always sad,never happy

Didn't know the meaning of that word.

Cursing,yelling,crying and fear

That's all I ever heard.

I grew up..at least I thought,

Still alone,scared and oh,so sad.

My body meant a lot to me

For that was all I had.

I'd give it away freely,

Thinking this was my duty in life.

No one would ever love me,

I'd never become a wife.

Well,one day I did

Someone wanted me.

Then cancer came upon me,

So he also set me free.

He couldn't look upon me,

With my hair falling from my head.

Most of the time I was sick

Wishing I were dead.

Doctor's said I'd never have children,

Oh this crushed me so.

Because I wanted children

More than you'd ever know.

So I got in with the wrong crowd,

You know,the ones who except you for you.

Life just kept getting worse,

No more could I live through.

God knew I've been through enough

So He came alive to me.

He has always been here

In my pain I just didn't see.

He sent a true friend my way,

Without judgement,for me she'd pray.

Save her Lord,set her free

And then came the day.

I gave my life to God

Inviting in Jesus for a new start

No longer angry at the world or

God for my breaking heart.

Because I said yes to God,

He said yes to me.

He was here all along

Walking right beside me.

I still had a lot of questions,

Like,why God why.

I'd get on my knees praying

And then I'd cry.

Praying,how could you Lord,

Let all this happen to me.

He would just say,quiet now,

And take a walk with Me.

He's showing me all the men & women

Who suffer the same as I.

Now my heart is aching,

For these men and women I now cry.

I'm to give my testimony

So that they can see.

That if God brought me through

He'll also set them free.

So it's not for me to question,

Asking our God why me.

I'm just to pray for others

And love them unconditionally.

Linda Knight