hands of time
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hands of timeplease critique |
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Re: hands of timeHey Peter, I like this poem! The message comes through clearly, the form and style fits the topic, the only thing I would improve on is the rhythm. The flow feels a bit 'bumpy' in some places, especially around the third stanza. I'd even risk a tight syllable count and meter. It would really give an extra boost to the message. Tick-tock! |
Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.
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