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A Crowded Place - some comments on the form of this poem!

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10-29-2009 at 03:35:47 PM

A Crowded Place - some comments on the form of this poem!

http://www.originalpoetry.com/a-crowded-place

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10-29-2009 at 06:35:19 PM

Re: A Crowded Place - some comments on the form of this poem!

It's casually metered using choice phrases that depict loss (or lack) of love. In forthright terms
the reader is engaged empathetically with your character. Very compelling. At all costs, do not repeat prepositions eg. 'for' I hope this is helpful (and that you won't find that my advice is not taken by myself) cool smile

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10-30-2009 at 03:28:39 AM

Re: A Crowded Place - some comments on the form of this poem!


Thanks mate, for the read and comments. It's nice to see someone being useful to someone. The point about 'for' is taken.

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10-31-2009 at 11:58:14 PM

Re: A Crowded Place - some comments on the form of this poem!

You are most welcome, my new friend. And hopefully, you won't see too many errors in my posted work. (though, the longer I look, more seem to appear) I also posted something for critique, but not poetry. thanks for taking the advice with a grain of salt LOL cool smile

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When power leads man towards arrogance, poetry reminds him of his limitations. When power narrows the area of man's concern, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of existence. When power corrupts, poetry cleanses.

John F. Kennedy (1917-1963) Thirty-fifth President of the USA
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