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A Father's Dilemma

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12-09-2009 at 03:29:25 PM

A Father's Dilemma

A Father’s Dilemma

What shall I say when you grow up?
That I left you 'cause it was needed;
That I sacrificed for your good;
That I sent you the softest shoes,
When you took your first steps;
That I sent you the funkiest stationery,
When you joined that famed school;
That I called you to query,
Of the friends you looked up to;
Or that you'd never know it all.

How can I convince you I'm no deserter?
That more than aught I love you;
That my absence too proves I care;
Or that I'd be different given a chance.
I know none of that son.
I know only that I love you always.

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12-16-2009 at 06:48:15 PM

Re: A Father's Dilemma

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Originally Posted by abraham

A Father’s Dilemma

What shall I say when you grow up?
That I left you 'cause it was needed;
That I sacrificed for your good;
That I sent you the softest shoes,
When you took your first steps;
That I sent you the funkiest stationery,
When you joined that famed school;
That I called you to query,
Of the friends you looked up to;
Or that you'd never know it all.

How can I convince you I'm no deserter?
That more than aught I love you;
That my absence too proves I care;
Or that I'd be different given a chance.
I know none of that son.
I know only that I love you always.


This poem really resonates with me because I have two sons. I care about every word but when it comes to poetry there is little I'd recommend you do. I might use different words or turns of phrasing but they would not improve on what you have written.
The first stanza says/shows so much about your love for your son. In the second stanza you switched to telling us why he should know that you care. It is your dilemma whither to show or to tell. We are lucky in someways to have this dilemma as difficult as it is.
Paolo

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12-23-2009 at 12:39:33 PM

Re: A Father's Dilemma

Thanks, Paolo, for passing by me and for making those wonderful comments. A double-edged sword this dilemma is, as you rightly said.

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12-24-2009 at 07:19:36 PM

Re: A Father's Dilemma

It is simple Abraham, it is that you are an impeccable warrior. Bless you.

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12-29-2009 at 11:45:24 AM

RE: A Father's Dilemma

Thanks, Gritto for the read and comment. I've been a warrior all my life, but don't know about 'impeccable'. Thanks anyway.

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12-29-2009 at 06:23:43 PM

RE: A Father's Dilemma

Abraham,
I think that you are a part of a noble warrior lineage . You are God's warrior, and, as such, you are an intrinsicly impeccable warrior because this is in your heart, and I know it is in your heart because you choose this high and unselfish path. Accept this, your son will know this.

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12-31-2009 at 09:35:18 AM

RE: A Father's Dilemma

Abraham, I have added your profile name to WordSlinger's Casual Conversation Forum post "In Uniform-OP Poets-Fighting for Freedom".

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Poetry is either something that lives like fire inside you or else it is nothing, an empty formalized bore around which pedants can endlessly drone their notes and explanations.

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