poetry challenge... if you dare!
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poetry challenge... if you dare!OK, I've never started one of these challenges, but this one was passed to me and I was overwhelmed with possibilities. I'm curious to see what the brilliant minds here can come up with! |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!
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RE: poetry challenge... the Keriyoki BroHi simoneaugustus |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Springsize, |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Actually an amazing idea for a challenge. I bow to your superiority over creating challenges better then me :P I'll write one in my study hall class and share it on here when I am through. |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Well, credit where credit is due, I sort of borrowed this one, but thanks anyway! And I can't wait to see what you come up with! There are so many options for this one... Good luck and enjoy! |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Okie, so I just began writing, took an hour on this, seemed like a decent story, I have no idea why it came to me :P hope ya like it ^^ I'll post it on my page as well I guess :P |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!What an intense truth! I love the details, like the slur in his speech, and the flow is very well done. Awesome piece of work! There are so many different ways this one can go and it's so interesting to see what the talented minds on this site can come up with! Bravo! |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Ah Simone, Try this one, My lady: Last edited by BVenture 05-07-2010 at 04:40:47 PM |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!B, what a wonderfully humorous story! Quite clever use of 'truth' and it brought me a much-needed laugh! As always, you have made a wonderful piece of art. |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare! In need of a friend Last edited by Bettysrainbow48 05-08-2010 at 03:06:36 AM |
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RE: RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Quote: woo so cool so funnyOriginally Posted by BVenture Ah Simone, Try this one, My lady: The Great Dane Killer The old man staggered in Wreaking of gin Had one eye closed, to focus Upon spying my face He flourished with grace As a magician might exclaim, “Hocus Pocus!” He had had quite a few “I’ve been looking for you!” He said as he tottered on over “I’ve something to tell you But I don’t know how well you Will take the bad news about Rover.” He thought that he knew me Though he stared right through me Unable to focus his sight Though I tried to protest He insisted it best I just listen to his plight “Your Great Dane,” he said “Appears to be dead, And my Chihuahua’s the reason he croaked My dog tried to meet him Your dog tried to eat him But he got lodged in his throat and he choked.        Good Job!!
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Nice twist, Betty! Totally unexpected! |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Thanks Betty. I have posted it to my page if anyone cares to comment. |
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RE: RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Quote: Hi, An entertaining story told in perfect style of exquisite simplicity of diction and clarity of narrative. The heroic quatrain is masterly handled in this poem, the theme is unified throughout. Death is frequently caused, as well as other severe consequences, by the simplest of freak accidents. The tragedy of the poem is accentuated by having a drunk , with an alcoholic- sodden mind, tell the story. Everybody, whether drunk or sober, sane or insane, has a story to tell. Last edited by cousinsoren 05-09-2010 at 04:23:29 AM |
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RE: RE: poetry challenge... the Keriyoki BroQuote:
Originally Posted by Springsize Hi simoneaugustus You've suggested a poem ~A drunk man approaches you in a bar, thinking you're his buddy, and starts confessing 'the truth.' What is 'the truth' he confesses? This suggestion and writing the poem was fun ! Wow! An amazing narrative poem told in heroic stanzas , the popular mode or format of English poets, The rhyming scheme a a b b is fairly regular, The use of couplets interspersing the quatrains suggest a "aside comment" on each quatrains, but do not seem to help the style very much. It, as these couplets seem to give a disjointed effect to the poem, More unity or more uniformity would have been maintained by adhering to the quatrain throughout. This poem is entertaining, But then this mode might have been deliberately adopted to suggest the incoherent manner of speech of an intoxicated person the Keriyoki Bro _____________ It was a loud and boisterous Friday night the room was filled with fuzzy words, polite . and I, with my smooth Jackie Daniels friend a handsome couple, we were dressed to spend . at least six hours, watching melting walls we sat like shadows, by niagra falls . when splash my daze, and enter Uncle Sam with stripe-red hat, that didn't hide the cam . "Come over here", I signaled with nod, clear bad Susan usin' wiley wink-eye beer he almost fell, from stilted legs and cheer his tongue was lapping at my dumbo ear . he called me buddie, bad breath hugging close I swear, he slipped me glass a "mickey" dose . from something in his pocket full of stars a secret, one must never spill in bars . "I'm dangle, dangling, on their hookie things they sign my name with power, money strings. I'm such a puppet," slurring in slow blur I tried to Not look like a 'bored-me' her . "oh buddy", droning, "buddieeee, I'm aloooone revolting ants, they hide inside my phooone." he slid like molten jello to the floor he murmured, "...bar keep, buddie, bring me more" . and looking straight into my eyes, he said "Those UFOs... they're not just in your head but they don't like us anyway, you know they call us fish, and hate the way we blow." . "...at least, that's what the memo said from high those big eye ones, don't talk, they just fly by." . "Now buddie, please don't..... you can't tell a soul my bestest friend, I know you're not a mole your Uncle Sam, he only has one goal to cover secrets in a private bowl" . and then my bar-room buddie mumbled low his sunset view was slowly fading, "Ooooh my buddie, doncha' know, I love you, dude." and then he slipped into a sleeping mood. * |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Ol' Hank Williams wrote a song that he never lived to record. |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!I believe Hank Sr. wrote it a little bit differently Gogant but you were close. Last edited by thecross 05-10-2010 at 01:07:03 AM |
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RE: RE: RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Quote: Originally Posted by cousinsoren Hi, An entertaining story told in perfect style of exquisite simplicity of diction and clarity of narrative. The heroic quatrain is masterly handled in this poem, the theme is unified throughout. Death is frequently caused, as well as other severe consequences, by the simplest of freak accidents. The tragedy of the poem is accentuated by having a drunk , with an alcoholic- sodden mind, tell the story. Everybody, whether drunk or sober, sane or insane, has a story to tell. Ok so what you are saying is the drunk is telling a story to an alcohlic right? Thank you I am just trying to understand your reponce. Please be more clear on the subject. This is a made up story about two siblings with two different life styles meeting at a bar that for some reason have not seen each other in years. In the end discover they still love life and family.The death would be not seeing each other for years. Thank you I am glad you liked it. This does not have to be an acoholic telling the story but a sibling there to meet her sibling from a phone call wanting to get back with family.
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RE: RE: RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Quote:
Originally Posted by cousinsoren Hi, An entertaining story told in perfect style of exquisite simplicity of diction and clarity of narrative. The heroic quatrain is masterly handled in this poem, the theme is unified throughout. Death is frequently caused, as well as other severe consequences, by the simplest of freak accidents. The tragedy of the poem is accentuated by having a drunk , with an alcoholic- sodden mind, tell the story. Everybody, whether drunk or sober, sane or insane, has a story to tell. |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Hey Cross, thank you so very much for the lyrics. You must have |
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RE: RE: RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Quote: Originally Posted by cousinsoren Hi, An entertaining story told in perfect style of exquisite simplicity of diction and clarity of narrative. The heroic quatrain is masterly handled in this poem, the theme is unified throughout. Death is frequently caused, as well as other severe consequences, by the simplest of freak accidents. The tragedy of the poem is accentuated by having a drunk , with an alcoholic- sodden mind, tell the story. Everybody, whether drunk or sober, sane or insane, has a story to tell. If this were really to happen, yes it could be an innocent act of mind where some people would call it a feeling to trust your sences, go into the bar to see , then by surprise meets a lost family member..I see what you are saying.The death could be the loss. I do see what you are saying.  Thank you
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RE: RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Quote: Hi George. You did just fine. Hank Williams junior sang a song my past on, husband wrote .Originally Posted by gogant Hey Cross, thank you so very much for the lyrics. You must have heard the song done by Hank Sr. and Hank Jr. I am so glad that there are at least two of us who know country music.......and, I mean true country. .........................................gogant Good country music. I like all kinds. Both Patrick and I love country music too. Good stuff. 
Last edited by Bettysrainbow48 05-10-2010 at 09:48:37 PM |
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RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Thanks, Betty. What was the title of the song ? |
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RE: RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!Quote: Queen of my Heart. I watched him write it.He called (Johnny H s) mom she gave it to Hank. For a long time it had on it writer unknown untill it was later lableled as his. I talk to her shortly myself before he gave it. I didn't like the song at first but then again he made it a hit.When he died he left many more songs that his son wants to sing.This particular song was a gift.What sometimes people think will be or get no where will fly. We heard it on the radio. He wanted to show me he could make it a hit. My mother n law Diamond B wrote White Christmas. She has been dead for years.She did the same thing I heard. My deceased husband from the past was a Lumberjack pro wrestled across the US. when the children were littlle.I traved back then all over. A gift is a gift. If you give it ,it becomes theirs.They were giving people. He later talked to her again and was glad he did. I met a lot of nice people over the years in my younger days.I met Jerry Merrit Buddy Knox I new personaly. Loretta Young I met and taked to her at a fair in Lynden Wash.I have met a lot of pro wrestlers. My past husband knew many people.Then later in life I did some traveling singing, had a chance to become a singer on the Grand Ole Operey but I chose to stay with my family.They asked me out of Olympia, heard me then asked me to go to Nashville. I have had many opprotunities in my life time. I am happy with my life.
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To have great poets there must be great audiences too.
Walt Whitman, American Poet (1819-1892)