RE: poetry challenge... if you dare!

Hi jpmaster13 -
You have penned a really, REALLY chiller thriller here... and yes, I see what simoneaugustus means by how this story could go in many directions now. Very powerful... and excellent creative genius.

Hi BVenture -
Your humor is showing through your eloquent and grandly-decorated poetic story... Wonderful, silly humor.

Hi Bettysrainbow48
Your continued bright star love is showing through as usual, for you... And you have lived such an Interesting Life... and a hit song called Queen of my Heart... that is so cool... I like country music, and wish I could write a deep country song. ~

gogant, and TheCross, the poem is so country.... I love country, the space outside the cement cities, where the animals are more predictable than the humans... where nature talks with clouds and eagles flying in majestic flows, and the music... that either rouses the heart to beat a night dance with laughing or the saddest of sad strolls of sound that reach into the heart to slow it down, and beg.... for love. Oh, the country can twang a need better than any other crooning.

cousinsoren
I appreciate your critique... and information of the Form of my poem... I am in school for exactly this reason. I love to write, and even find a pearl now and then... but it is the Form of expression that will find me floundering and stumbling, and not as smooth as I would choose.
I do mix apples and oranges, and love my fruit salads... but I can see what you are saying about maintaining one form of stanza, as all quatrain, 4 line stanzas.

You were even kind enough to suggest my err was on purpose, so as to add emphasis of a drunk speaking, at times, most incoherently.
But no, it was simple ignorance of the tools available for smooth, presentable poems.

By the way... although I loved my whiskey, brandy, tequila, wine, beer, white lightening, Straight... no fluff fluff here, I have not had an alcoholic drink in 26 years.
No AA.... I just like being in control...

Thank you... for your Form comment... it has helped me.

simoneaugustus
Your poem challenge was enjoyed by many !!!