Alphabet Soup!

AN ABECEDARIAN POEM!

What in the world is that, do you mumble? Simple..it is an acrostic poem using consecutive letters of the alphabet to begin the lines. You can begin with the letter A, which would make the second line begin with B, the third with C, etc, etc...or you can begin with the letter of your choice and go consecutively from there. Poem length is up to you (minimum of 8 lines), but will not exceed 26 lines. Iambic, trochaic or anapestic....it's up to you.

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Always was a word I’d learned not to use
Before now, I was careful what to say.
Chances were “love always yours” wasn’t true,
Don’t misconstrue meanings or intentions.
Each candle on a cake was a fresh wish.
Forever was a year, at seventeen.
Gone were the fairy tales; my sweetest dreams
Had flown. What’s this? Am I wide-awake here?
I somehow feel a new love real and I’ve
Jumped in. I hope and pray passion doesn’t
Kill me now but if it does, please know I
Laughed out loud and loved too much. He said to
Me, tender words “good morning, sweetheart.” I’d
Never heard such cherished words in my life.
Oh, the reason for my smile is how this
Party rocks! To think, I’d settled for a
Quiet winter in my life. I heard him
Roar, a lion by my door, who shook my
Senses to the core. I want to be the
Thunderstorm he won’t sleep through. I can’t wait
Until I see his new tattoo which proves
Very much, he says, he loves me. Me? He
Wants me? Me? Perhaps we’ll sail away to
Xanadu or Timbuktu. He says I’m
Yummy so now I’m humming the song of
Zulu woman, who loves her man, always.

Last edited by Aria 07-01-2010 at 10:10:15 PM

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Very nicely done, miss Aria! You paint a vivid story of one who had loved, was disillusioned by love to the point of giving up hope and then having the right person come around to re-instill hope within her. I like it!

I'm not sure how passion can "kill too quickly" unless you refer to a burn-out but, if this story is personal then I congratulate you and envy him!

Keep on keeping on!

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Thanks for teaching here, Mr. B and thanks for pointing out the weak spot in that line. You were right, of course and I've amended the line to provide a clearer meaning. You're a great teacher and I appreciate the feedback!

Aria

Last edited by Aria 07-02-2010 at 11:44:41 AM

RE: Alphabet Soup!

An attempt at this glorious form:

Apples ripen each August here
Before the fall's crisp air
Cortland a sweet is the pick of this year
Decadence at which I stare
Enticing, my lips smack so demure
Fondle a premature apple, if you dare
Grasp, handle with care
Hold that red one in your palm, never share
Indescribable nectar once mashed reduced to cider rare
Juice of Eden's fruit leaves nothing to compare

ginga

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Very nice, ginga! You certainly have sensual apples in your part of the world. I feel the same way about Spam!!

I appreciate your joining in, miss. Thank you..

RE: Alphabet Soup!

tyvm I am happy to oblige
ginga

RE: Alphabet Soup!

RE: Alphabet Soup!
Always was a word I’d learned not to use

Before now, I was careful what to say.

Chances were “love always yours” wasn’t true,

Don’t misconstrue meanings or intentions.

Each candle on a cake was a fresh wish.

Forever was a year, at seventeen.

Gone were the fairy tales; my sweetest dreams

Had flown. What’s this? Am I wide-awake here?

I somehow feel a new love real and I’ve

Jumped in. I hope and pray passion doesn’t

Kill me now but if it does, please know I

Laughed out loud and loved too much. He said to

Me, tender words “good morning, sweetheart.” I’d

Never heard such cherished words in my life.

Oh, the reason for my smile is how this

Party rocks! To think, I’d settled for a

Quiet winter in my life. I heard him

Roar, a lion by my door, who shook my

Senses to the core. I want to be the

Thunderstorm he won’t sleep through. I can’t wait

Until I see his new tattoo which proves

Very much, he says, he loves me. Me? He

Wants me? Me? Perhaps we’ll sail away to

Xanadu or Timbuktu. He says I’m

Yummy so now I’m humming the song of

Zulu woman, who loves her man, always.



Last edited by Aria 07-01-2010 at 10:10:15 PM

Quote Flag Post .

07-01-2010 at 09:14:09 PM

Balladeer
Posts: 122
RE: Alphabet Soup!
Very nicely done, miss Aria! You paint a vivid story of one who had loved, was disillusioned by love to the point of giving up hope and then having the right person come around to re-instill hope within her. I like it!

Aria, This one is lovely and challenging, especially your attempt at penning the whole alphabet, quite noble! I posted my crazy apple poem on my page even thousgh it is crude.I get an A for effort in my first OP poetry class with Balladeer! ty Balladeer!
Gibga

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Mr. B, here's one more morsel for your soup....

LOVE YOUR MAN, AS HARD AS YOU CAN

Always love your rugged knight --
Before kissing his lips goodnight
Comfort and hold him oh so tight
Delay turning off the Bedouin light
Enjoy his quiv’ring, awesome might
Fan the fires of sensual delight
Grab him - for he is dy-no-mite
Hold him until he feels alright
In the enrapture of the flight --
Just to know you’ve done him right
Keeps your man at home, come night…

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Ah, gogant, I think you're right!
Bless him with a little bite,
Caress in places out of sight
Danger-free and water-tight.
Everyone needs someone right
Fascinating Aphrodite
Get him, girl, but love, don't fight
Have him higher than a kite
Interplanetary flight
Just because he's your delight.


Thanks for the inspirational nudge, gogant!

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Another Bowl of Soup

Ah, you boys, your words are true
But don't forget your lady, too
Carefully do those things she likes
Daring words, speak late at night
Every woman, ever born
Fantasizes of lovers charm
Go get her, sweep her off her feet
Hold her close and kiss her deep
Impassioned romance that she seeks
Just begging there to be released
Kiss her often and say the word
Love to her like she's never heard
Man, you won't believe your nights
not if you love her and treat her right
Oh, what she'll give to make you feel
Passion, boys, to make love real.

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Aria, your words ring true
But I have got some news for you
Could be I didn't try enough
Doing things and all that stuff,
Expecting passion in return,
Forgetting some flames will not burn!
Getting her lawn mower fixed,
Hopefully would do the trick.
Imbecile! She screamed instead
Just to make me feel her dread.
Knowing I would seem a saint
Lovingly, I bought her paint
Making her chore easier.
Nothing was too good for her!
Oh, I was her benefactor
Painting her name on the tractor.
Quite the gallant knight was I,
Really giving it a try.
Some things didn't work, although
Time for sex and she said NO!
Unexplainable, for sure,
Very bitter to endure.
What disgrace it was to be
X marked the spot, but not for me!
You ask how many times I scored??
Zero! and I'm really bored!

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Aria's Advice

Always here with my advice
Balladeer, please don't think twice.
Chances are I have a clue
dear, what's been going wrong for you.
Every woman needs a man
for fixing things like ceiling fans.
Glad to help, of course you are,
honey-dos are your cigar.
I wonder though, late at night,
kissing her, does it feel right?
Loving her, give it your all
make her beg and make her crawl.
Never let up on the passion
or let go till she says "done."
Playmate of the year she'll be
Quite the kitten, you will see.
Rest assured, dear Balladeer
Sex begins between the ears.
Tell her all those loving words
until now she's never heard.
Very much, I'll tell you true,
we want words, at least I do!
X marks the spot, you got that right
You have to find that little site.
Zowie! WOW! Call it a night!

RE: Alphabet Soup!

gogant, see what you started! I hope you're happy....I'm kinda pleased myself.

Aria, your wit is exceeded only by your everything else.....you are fun

Thanks for a great repartee...I'll let you have the last word, as most women get anyway!

RE: RE: Alphabet Soup!

Wow....us guys can never get in the last word.....That was a fun tidbit
for sure, Mike. Now I will quietly shuffle off to buffalo and try to come up
with another ABC'er...of course there is no way I could use all 26 letters....

Quote:

Originally Posted by Balladeer

gogant, see what you started! I hope you're
happy....I'm kinda pleased myself.

Aria, your wit is exceeded only by your everything else.....you are fun

Thanks for a great repartee...I'll let you have the last word, as most women get anyway!

RE: Alphabet Soup! - Hunting Apricots

6 couplets, 9 meter, ABC line w/rhyme


hunting apricots
_____________



Apricot hunting begins at dawn
burning as yawning-June touches lawn


color me hungry, I will replace
dangling fruitas, with empty space


even the squirrels, are greedy here
finding their remnants, on the frontier


grounds, all around, are pieces they left
hovering birdies, still squawking, "theft"


it should be fun, sharing bounty beds
just like the sunset with orangie-reds


knowledge is finding to savor them
loving the sweetness that grows by stem

Last edited by Springsize 07-05-2010 at 07:27:05 PM

RE: Alphabet Soup! - Her Picture

the Dutchman's Cabin Picture
________________________




August arrived with the Orient star
Baron, her parrot, was born in Quitar


colorful yellow, with red sunset head
dangling long feathers, from forest green bed


eyes in a peacock exotic pleasured
fan, draped near-touching soft, lavish-treasured


grand subdued ocelot, on marble floor
hugging smooth skin, with Egyptian gem-lore


iris' matching, silk legging's wild rose
jewels onna thick belt, near long, pointed toes


kneeling with hearts for her, hopeful, they wait
loved entertainer with smooth, graceful gait


merise mystique with sweet, unique restraint
nuisette from Paris, with red berry paint


ode to her softness, and beguiling smile
pleasing performer, she sits for awhile


quietly thinking with calm focused state
rare little flower, makes senses elate


scrolls of tradition on round window plate
talisman as iron, wrought circles, ornate


used as a window, a lantern of nights
vocal he pledges, his wood stove delights


"will you, sweet lady, be my angel face"
Xing her picture in the old mining space


young when he left his home, for the west coast
Zurich to Big Bear, the Dutchman did boast.




* At the turn of the last century, the Dutchman discovered a gold mine in Holcolm Valley, Big Bear Mountains, California. He built a cabin and braved the elements to mine the gold... this picture was found above the doorway of his cabin....

Last edited by Springsize 08-08-2010 at 09:46:35 AM

Quote

Flag Post

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Hunting Apricots

Verey nice, springsize! Who could not love a poem using the word "orangie" to maintain the meter? Very innovative!!!!

The first eight lines are perfect in meter an syllable counts. Unfortunately, the last four lose it.

i LOVE the ROUND CIR-cles, ORANG-ie-RED.

The poem, up to that point, has been perfect trochaic but you begin the line iambic and then use ROUND CIR, two accented syllables together.

JUST like the SUN, when IT sets to BED

You go back to the trochaic beginning, but have two unaccented syllables together (like the) and (sets to).

KNOW I am SAV-ori-ING EAT-ing THEM

Two errors (i am) (ING EAT)

LOV-ing their RICH-ness, GROWN on a STEM.

Two errors (-ing their) (on a)

SInce the first eight were so good, I'm thinking maybe you got tired and just wanted to finish the darned thing! at any rate, it's pretty excellent. You followed the form and the syllable counts were exact....and the topic very impressive. Apricot hunting...whdathunkit???

RE: Alphabet Soup!

The Dutchman's Cabin Picture


Once again, your mastery of vocabulary fascinated me. You are so good creating phrases with skillful manipulation of wording. If we can just get that meter down, you will find that your poetic prowess will grow by leaps and bounds. Some of your couplets are absolutely perfect...

August arrived with the Orient star
Baron, her parrot, was born in Quitar

quietly thinking with calm focused state
rare little flower, makes senses elate

used as a window, a lantern of nights
vocal he pledges, his wood stove delights

Phrases like that are perfection personified. You break from iambic and/or trochaic but you are constant and do it exactly the same in both lines....that's fine.

AUG-(ust ar)-RIVED (with the) OR-(i-ent) STAR
BAR-(on, her) PAR-(rot was) BORN )in qui)-TAR

You begin with an accented syllable, followed by three anapests in both....exact.

Unfortunately, there are those that lose the meter....

KNEEL-( ing with) HEARTS (for her), HOPE-(ful, they) WAIT
LOV-(ely) ENT-er-TAIN-(er with) GRACE-(ful) GAIT.

In that couplet, the first line is exact but the last line loses it completely
/--/--/--/
/-/-/--/-/
Let's change it a little..

Loved entertainer with smooth, graceful gait.

Other lines to work on...

iridescent leggings, silking wild rose
eyes in a peacock exotic pleasured
fan, draped close, to the lavishly treasured
talisman as iron, wrought circles, ornate

Work on those, straighten out the meter and you have no longer a good poem, you have a stirring poem. I am not going to rest until you get it down. You are too good not to showcase your words through the proper presentation. You ready????

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Dear Balladeer

Thank you always for your guidance

I have applied changes and hope they are acceptable.

The Talisman is pronounced Tals mun, I think...
or if you are reading it as a three syllable word... I can adjust the line...

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Good work on the Dutchman, Springsize! Can you feel how it reads so much more smoothly? Only one line is off..."merise mystique with unique restraint"...because it is short one syllable. I have to question the word merise about what you meant by it.

Talisman is a three syllable word. If you check dictionary.com it will verify that and give you a recording of it's actual pronounciation, so that line still doesnt work.

Your changes were wonderful!

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Your apricots a re delicious, with one exception..

it should be fun, sharing bounty beds
IT should be FUN, SHAR-ing BOUN-ty BEDS

That "fun, sharing" together, two accented syllables, kills it. Sharing just doesn't work in that line.

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Stood Up

Anxious to see you
By eight pm
Clock kept ticking
Darn thing reads ten.

Eventually down -hearted
Feeling stood up, ticked.
Grateful to none
His words worth two shits.

I click off the light
Just plop down on my couch,
Killing more time
Like a pathetic slouch.

My mind reels
No sense in crying.
Obviously his doubts
Prove it ain't worth my trying.

Questioning myself,
Ridiculous it seems.
Selfish I felt,
Thinking of only me.

Unfortunately I assume the worst
Vicious and fumed.
Was this my deserved curse, him
X-rayed in the ER, his doom?

Yes, prognosis he'll be okay !
Zealously I kneel down asking forgiveness while I pray.

ginga

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Well, that'll teach you to jump to conclusions!! LOL!

Nicely done, ginga! I appreciate your joining into our bit of fun

RE: Alphabet Soup!

Able Was I Not

Able was I not
Be it easy or be it not
Chanced by one happy day
Devil woman came my way
Enticing words de-icing
Flirting as free as sin
Got my heart a-waverin’
How do I keep my purity
Inside this soul so tightly
Jumbled nerves a-jingling
Kept turning and a-twisting
Like some kook
Might dare to look
Neigh upon such beauty
Of this Satan lady
Pausing just a moment
Quietly I felt content
Rise up within my breast
So as to pause upon this test
Tho eagerly I wished
Unable to resist
Variably came her lips
Watering for just a sip
Xeroxing Venus’ charms
Yearning for her arms
Zealously we did love
As two turtle doves
Before the night was gone
Came panting sighs of paragon…